.

Lost.

[. @6III9]

@_akhaliq ,. N
E

[loren schmidt @lorenschmidt]

aaah what the heck is this beautiful process. this is a new one

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

[squirrel cop kicks down my door]
"I'VE GOT A SEARCH WARRANT BITCH"
[im in the bathroom frantically flushing hazelnuts down the toilet]

[trev sploosk @sploosk]

Ok let's take a look at what your résumé says here..."you're hired." Hmm thats not very impr- wait a minute, did you just-? Damn you're good

[trev sploosk @sploosk]

If someone ever intimidates you, remember that they're 70% water. Are you scared of water? Well you should be. 400,000 people drown per year

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

"I DEMAND... A TRIAL BY COMBAT"
"sir it's just a parking ticket, I..."
"WHO WILL BE MY CHAMPION"

[Maths For The Masses @MathsForMasses]

As a child, I was obsessed with the difference between sine and cosine. As I got older, I realized it was just a phase.

[pat tobin @tastefactory]

Try to imagine pugs living in the wild, just roaming in the forest in packs.

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

"I CHOOSE YOU, JASON DERULO!"
*Jason Derulo launches from the Pokeball & just sings his name over & over*
*sigh*
"goddammit Jason Derulo"

[airza @airzae]

hey girl, are you the grains of sand running through the hourglass of mortality? because you're very fine

[Jason MMRRRaz @jason_mraz]

Ox's are my favorite animal. They're all hugs and kisses.

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

live every day like it's your last

[slam dance tarantula @JermHimselfish]

I just spent 15 minutes looking everywhere for my phone only to realize that life is a dark abyss of meaninglessness and it was in my jacket

[Spoonicorn @MrSpoonicorn]

busting sick dance moves in this club, all eyes on me. haters saying "this is a library" lol w/e dudes atleast i didnt bring books to a club

[. @6III9]

@theticklyfinger stri ka hi tho matlab dulat hai, gadi mai jo aage bethi vo eek aurat hai @nalayakputtar

[. @6III9]

@theticklyfinger raat ke baad sabera hai, ye tweeter tho muhavaro ka duja basera hai :p @nalayakputtar

[. @6III9]

@theticklyfinger hug your mom today! Your lucky, u survived

[. @6III9]

@evils_heart ... are transformed into blood sucking vampires.

[. @6III9]

@limoncello_ice yes i hav many jain friends n d best way to annoy them is either eating non-veg in front of them or hitting them with a rock