slam dance tarantula

Words cannot begin to describe the way that I feel about stuff

[slam dance tarantula @JermHimselfish]

Someone on Nantucket bought a cybertruck and the local newspaper has been following them around making fun of them

[Will Sennett @Senn_Spud]

When I was a kid ESPN actually showed real shit - videos of my parents killing me, videos of my parents killing me with a doctor saying this is a real video, notre dame baseball highlights, videos of real mummies going completely apeshit

[slam dance tarantula @JermHimselfish]

Everybody has that one friend who’s always lurking in the shadows with a hammer

[slam dance tarantula @JermHimselfish]

@AlthMtg @fireshoes @Wizards_Help Same

[slam dance tarantula @JermHimselfish]

One of the weirder parts of my best friend dying has been interacting with so many memorial posts on Facebook that the algorithm has started showing me posts from strangers about their loved ones dying as if it’s a topic that I’m interested in now. So thats been cool

[slam dance tarantula @JermHimselfish]

Calling your new line of shoes “Pain-Free Skechers” implies that the old ones were just completely full of pain

[slam dance tarantula @JermHimselfish]

@flyinghigh218 Northern Vermont, aka the Midwest of New England

[slam dance tarantula @JermHimselfish]

First off, let’s start with a bowl of spaghetti for the table

[모구모구🍄 @ZZSSNNi]

사실 티벳여우에는 또다른 비밀이 숨겨져있음

사람들이 얼굴이랑 비율만보고 사이즈가 늑대 비슷한줄 아는데…
사실 겁나 쪼꼬마함 소형견사이즈…

[slam dance tarantula @JermHimselfish]

@poe_collector they did, it’s called apathy and it is amazing

[Phoenix Insurgent @PhxInsurgent]

Every workplace has a Strait of Hormuz. You and your coworkers just have to find it and shut it down.

[slam dance tarantula @JermHimselfish]

(1967) Ladies and gentlemen I’d like to introduce you to the most dangerous rock n roll band in the whole world right now, The Doors! (circus music starts playing)

[Pop Base @PopBase]

Twitter turns 20.

What is your favorite tweet of all time?

[slam dance tarantula @JermHimselfish]

Replace doomscrolling with walking outside in the middle of the night to follow the laughing whispers of a small child that you heard coming from the swamp behind the church

[Financial Physics @FinancialPhys]

Never gets old

[jordan @JordanUhl]

The worst person you know will look you dead in the eye and tell you this, somehow, helps the people of Iran.

[jimothy burglary @JimothyBurg1ary]

200,000 years of human warfare and we have landed on the 3 platonically ideal weapons. AR15, rc plane with a lit stick of dynamite taped to it, and Machine That Rips Apart The Fabric Of The Fucking Universe

[elliott @elliott_green_]

it is a little alarming how stupid and cruel the average person apparently is

[microplastics nanobubbler @facetedcarapace]

I'm currently monitoring every situation on the planet . Prettty bad

[ً @NotJosephGarcia]

You don’t need to wash your water bottle or your bed sheets or anything. Everything will eventually become clean because of a great big fire

[hasanabi @hasanthehun]

maga are cattle btw. totally owned by parasitic capital. they said they were voting for trump for no new wars, releasing the epstein files, & getting prices down. not one of those things happened & they still love him. barely sentient peasant brained losers.