Simon Trevor-Wright

[Simon Trevor-Wright @7Dilligaf]

@Feargal_Sharkey Friends in low faeces.

[Feargal Sharkey @Feargal_Sharkey]

A very close friend of mine has just sent me a text,

"What has this government got against clean water?"

Damned good question.

[Carol Vorderman @carolvorders]

Tories are going to pollute our rivers even more, Only 14% declared "good" ecologically now Michael Gove!
AND confirmed they'll force taxpayers to pay £140m bill for pollution caused by developers
We're PAYING for more pollution!
Loathsome DREGS of a govt https://t.co/OpLFe1cMfG

[Tripe Marketing Board 💚 @TripeUK]

It's always sad when we lose a tripe supplier - particularly one of the calibre of Nadine Dorries.
Tripe consumers are warned that, as suppliers diminish, prices are likely to rise.

[Anna Hamilton Art @annahamiltonart]

I hate doing this, but I am desperate for sales, as currently a few hundred pounds short of being able to cover my bills this month.
Please, if you’ve ever thought about buying from me, now would be a great time. Even if all you can do is retweet this, I’d be so grateful (1/2)

[Nic J @tismenic70]

A collection of male Scottish goats is surely called..

A billy colony... ? 🐐
#SideSplittingSunday

[Chris Holmes @shearluc]

Vote for Hilgays finest butcher!

[Simon Trevor-Wright @7Dilligaf]

@danielgoyal @MikeTiffy53 The Mail complaining about 'cruel smearing'... #Hypocrisy

[Simon Trevor-Wright @7Dilligaf]

@SuitSiggy Boris is to a comb?

[SkyScanWorld ✈️🚁📡 @scan_sky]

Taken From The RAF Lakenheath Enthusiasts Facebook Group - Can Anyone Assist?

[Simon Trevor-Wright @7Dilligaf]

@thameswater did she quit or was she forced out?
(After filling the rivers with what we’d all forced out)

[Simon Trevor-Wright @7Dilligaf]

Did you hear the one about the agoraphobic mathematician?

He had no sine of a tan.

[GraceP 🇪🇺️. #OYP #Rejoin #FBPE ✊❤️✊ @GraceP1971]

@HarissonEric7 I've just had an idea for a game show! 'Fucked Or Fathered' where contestants have to guess Boris Johnson's relationship to different people. Any takers?

[Simon Trevor-Wright @7Dilligaf]

When your chicken and sauce
Is a real tour de force
Cacciatore

[Simon Trevor-Wright @7Dilligaf]

Q: What do you call a mad Irish noblewoman?
A : Lady O’Gaga

[Simon Trevor-Wright @7Dilligaf]

Extroverts never have shyness infections

[Simon Trevor-Wright @7Dilligaf]

Scotland v Georgia football match suspended due to heavy rain.

Surely they’re not short of Macs?

[Simon Trevor-Wright @7Dilligaf]

For all those who are about to take education’s annual laxative (exams):

That’s me in the corner
That’s me with the nightlight
Doing my revision

[Simon Trevor-Wright @7Dilligaf]

@SketchLisa Breathe. Heal. Re-energise.
All at your own pace. ❤️

[Simon Trevor-Wright @7Dilligaf]

Time flies when you’re having fun.
Elephant flies when you’re having weed.