Brenda Stephens

The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets. The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears. And the kindest hearts have felt the most pain.

[Brenda Stephens @81Semendyaeva]

You know it's gonna be a great story when it starts of with, "So this bitch..."

[Brenda Stephens @81Semendyaeva]

Take a pic of a friend with their face squished against glass. Assign to phone contact, it'll look like they're trapped inside your phone.

[Brenda Stephens @81Semendyaeva]

Just drank two 5-Hour Energy shots. Will I get 10 hours of energy? And why is that rainbow giggling at me? AndAHH MY SKIN IS ON INSIDE-OUT!

[Amber Frye @F6Kutashovaz]

Sleep is my drug. My bed is my dealer. My alarm is the cops. Work is the jail.

[Brenda Stephens @81Semendyaeva]

Facebook: *Scrolling down your newsfeed thinking:* "don't care'' "Whore" "Your life sucks" "Song lyrics" "Inside joke?" "Needs a therapist"

[Brenda Stephens @81Semendyaeva]

Just held the door for an Asian guy. He said "Sank you", so I punched him in the face, I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that

[Brenda Stephens @81Semendyaeva]

I opened up a bottle of coke and it said, "Sorry, you didn't win". I didn't even know I was playing, yet I was still disappointed.

[Kelly Roe @KhalimaBoss]

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last long for fat people.

[Brenda Stephens @81Semendyaeva]

I saw a man at the beach yelling. "Help, shark! Help!" I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.

[Mary Wallace @polynkov1973]

First Tab: Twitter ... Second Tab: Facebook ... Third Tab: YouTube.

[Brenda Stephens @81Semendyaeva]

Birthdays are good for you, the more you have the longer you live.

[Brenda Stephens @81Semendyaeva]

That awkward moment when you're about to walk into someone so you move out the way, but they move in the same direction.

[Julianne Sites @2016Steshenko]

Telling your parents something funny, but then it turns into a life lesson..

[Brenda Stephens @81Semendyaeva]

Yelling random numbers when someones counting. You are truly cruel!

[Amber Frye @F6Kutashovaz]

Whenever I open a package of bread I skip the first piece. Because its ugly.

[Brenda Stephens @81Semendyaeva]

Girlfriends are like credit cards, you can't get one unless you already have one.

[Brenda Stephens @81Semendyaeva]

The Female Language: No = Yes, Maybe = No, We Need = I Want, We Need To Talk = I Want to Complain. I Don't Care = I Most Certainly Do.

[Brenda Stephens @81Semendyaeva]

Twitter is the only place Where I get excited when a stranger follows you.

[Tracy Macon @ttelipman]

If a person is born deaf,what language do they think in?