Claudia Taylor

Life is so much better when you stop caring about what everyone thinks, and start to actually live for yourself.

[Claudia Taylor @86Bukiya]

never mistake my silence for weakness. no one plans a murder out loud

[Claudia Taylor @86Bukiya]

My mind was blown when I realized "OK" is a sideways person.

[Trisha Butler @mukharinova]

Broke people always tryna make plans

[Claudia Taylor @86Bukiya]

That awkward moment when you accidentally make eye contact with someone like 5 times.

[Claudia Taylor @86Bukiya]

My girlfriend told me to see things from a girl's point of view, so I looked out the kitchen window.

[Claudia Taylor @86Bukiya]

I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid. And some I'd love to punch them in the face.

[Angie Johnston @88Nelliya]

"I'm going to bed" .. really means .. "I'm going to lay on my bed and be on my phone."

[Claudia Taylor @86Bukiya]

I work awfully hard trying to disguise the fact that I'm a lazy bastard.

[Claudia Taylor @86Bukiya]

I always give 110% at work, I just happen to spread it out over five days.

[Rebekah Curtis @florenskarnaus1]

I'm not late boss, I just took my coffee break before coming in.

[Claudia Taylor @86Bukiya]

So when people yawn, do deaf people think they're screaming?

[Claudia Taylor @86Bukiya]

Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason.

[Evelyn Tenney @davyd_96]

Facebook is my friend. YouTube is my voice. Google is my brain. Twitter is my heart.

[Claudia Taylor @86Bukiya]

Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy vodka, comic books, midget strippers, a pony andOH GOD I'M SO HAPPY!

[Claudia Taylor @86Bukiya]

I wouldn't trust my credit card with any of my friends yet i'll give it to just about any bartender.

[Claudia Taylor @86Bukiya]

When I'm depressed I cut myself.... a piece of cake

[Claudia Taylor @86Bukiya]

Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long." Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."

[Bonnie Cantrell @mchemerkin]

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!'

[Claudia Taylor @86Bukiya]

When you're tired, draw strength from God. When you're speechless, talk to God. When you feel alone, look around, there is God.

[William Sotelo @ilyaynenl]

"Would you like a bag?" "No thanks, I thought I would carry these 14 items on my head..."