Evelyn Tenney

People will hurt you but you can't use that as an excuse to hurt someone back.

[Evelyn Tenney @davyd_96]

Facebook prank: 1) Change your name to "No One." 2) Go try to add someone. It will say, "No One wants to be your friend."

[Evelyn Tenney @davyd_96]

Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but you're on Twitter instead.

[Alana Kellar @xiqufrqo]

I really hate when friends change just because they met new people.

[Evelyn Tenney @davyd_96]

Most accidents are caused by people who drive in 1st gear while their minds are in neutral.

[Evelyn Tenney @davyd_96]

White people: "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG!" Black people: "OH HELL YEAH N*GGA THIS MY SHIT!"

[Evelyn Tenney @davyd_96]

In Middle School I Remember Everybody's VoiceMail Saying "Hey Whats Up?" "What You Doing?" "Forreal?" "AHHHH You've Reached My Voice Mail"

[Evelyn Tenney @davyd_96]

They should definitely have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.

[Janine Batson @skorobach1997]

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.

[Evelyn Tenney @davyd_96]

"I'll be there in 5 minutes... If not, read this again."

[Laura Henry @sgutarevich]

Alcohol goes in, truth comes out.

[Robin Yoder @estrilets]

You claim you're a bad bitch but you have no house, no car, no job? You're not a bad bitch. You're doing bad, bitch.

[Iola Rittenhouse @PotorakVip]

A fool is a 37th floor window washer who steps backs to see his handwork.

[Carolyn Sturdevant @aledinskiy]

You give me respect, I return respect.

[Darcy Wilken @skhoruzheva]

To do is to be [Descartes]. To be is to do [Voltaire]. Do be do be do [Frank Sinatra].

[Evelyn Tenney @davyd_96]

"Hoes Went From " Duck Duck Goose " To " Fuck Fuck Loose " From " Ring Around A Roise " To " Fuckin All Da Homies "

[Evelyn Tenney @davyd_96]

Facebook is my friend. YouTube is my voice. Google is my brain. Twitter is my heart.

[Hazel Williamson @2016Mazalov]

Beauty lies in the eyes of beer holder.

[Evelyn Tenney @davyd_96]

Why won't Cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny.

[Kay Melton @UBorislav]

Pretending to care about a teachers personal life, to waste time in class.

[Evelyn Tenney @davyd_96]

If a man fails to open a jar, he must kill all witnesses.