Carolyn Sturdevant

Before you talk, listen. Before you react, think. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try.

[Carolyn Sturdevant @aledinskiy]

Texting someone while your half asleep then reading your text in the morning and realizing you made no sense....

[Carolyn Sturdevant @aledinskiy]

It's going to be drizzy outside. Expect a lil wayne.

[Carolyn Sturdevant @aledinskiy]

That awkward moment when you accidentally make eye contact with someone like 5 times.

[Carolyn Sturdevant @aledinskiy]

Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.

[Carolyn Sturdevant @aledinskiy]

Being Addicted to sex is like being addicted to pizza. When its good its great, but when its bad, its still pretty good.

[Carolyn Sturdevant @aledinskiy]

Of course there's no reason for it, it's just our policy.

[Carolyn Sturdevant @aledinskiy]

Create your own Bermuda Triangle! Just surround yourself with a wife & two kids, then watch all your hopes & dreams mysteriously disappear!

[Brittani Bailey @73Sokrat]

Older I get = Less people I trust.

[Joanne Andino @1978Gigashvili]

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

[Carolyn Sturdevant @aledinskiy]

My Boss asked me to start the Presentation with a Joke; I attached my Salary Payslip on the 1st Slide.

[Carolyn Sturdevant @aledinskiy]

You can always spot the living dead by their wedding ring.

[Carolyn Sturdevant @aledinskiy]

I Hate That Feeling when you close your eyes to apply shampoo, and get paranoid that someone will kill you in the shower.

[Carolyn Sturdevant @aledinskiy]

That awesome moment when you're telling a lie and your best friend notices and joins you.

[Rosalind Fiala @gbalukhina]

"Um, it's like that in every country, son."

[Carolyn Sturdevant @aledinskiy]

You give me respect, I return respect.

[Marth Jacks @L6Ezhinskaya84]

Don't judge a persons choices if you don't understand their reasons.

[Pamela Poole @vsurint]

i hate when people who choose to live their life wrong, always claim to be the victim. you know what your doing.

[Carolyn Sturdevant @aledinskiy]

I am going to buy a dog, name it naked and tell people I have to walk naked down the street.

[Rose Barber @73Flaviya]

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

[Carolyn Sturdevant @aledinskiy]

You know someone means a lot to you when their mood affects yours.