Rose Barber

Women's tears are men's horror. Men's tears are women's honor.

[Ozella Baker @97Borovskoy]

It took me a whole year to write a book. Stupid, you can buy one for $5.

[Rose Barber @73Flaviya]

ME: Well at least somebody's taking my Zombie Apocalypse theory seriously. *glares at wife*

[Lois Josephson @ZhelibaY9]

Alcohol goes in, truth comes out.

[Tina Prager @kurennyy85]

Dude, when your chest starts to look like an upside-down version of their logo, it's time to stop eating at McDonald's.

[Julianne Sites @GerontiyMs]

I sent a text message pouring my damn heart out, and all you reply back with is "K"... Bitch you was better off not replying.

[Rose Barber @73Flaviya]

Whenever I open a package of bread I skip the first piece. Because its ugly.

[Rose Barber @73Flaviya]

Two girls wear the same shirt: "She copied my style!" Two guys wear the same shirt: "BRO!"

[Lindsay Atchison @stverdislav]

The cost of not following your heart, is spending the rest of your life ... wishing you had.

[Rose Barber @73Flaviya]

It took me a whole year to write a book. Stupid, you can buy one for $5.

[Karen Lunsford @1973Chepel]

POLICE OFFICER: "How high are you?" ME: "No officer. It's 'Hi, how are you?'"

[Rose Barber @73Flaviya]

"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."

[Rose Barber @73Flaviya]

9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

[Rose Barber @73Flaviya]

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

[Rose Barber @73Flaviya]

The rewards for ambition in most countries are High Taxes.

[Helen Shumaker @GSlabkovich84]

SWAG = (S)omething (W)e (A)ll (G)et tired of hearing

[Rose Barber @73Flaviya]

What the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds.

[Kari Voss @pavlamikhaylus1]

Noone dies a virgin...life screws us all.

[Claire High @fotimakondrato1]

Sometimes the best way to get someone's attention is to stop giving them yours.

[Rose Barber @73Flaviya]

My mouth automatically says "shit" when something wrong happens.

[Dora Phillips @LipalinYaroslav]

"Yes, and it's called 'African American TV' you rascist little jerk."