Laura Henry

If you don't do stupid things while you are young you won't have anything to laugh about when you are older.

[Laura Henry @sgutarevich]

A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually.

[Carrie Paez @95Marygina]

A real woman doesn't have to throw dirt on another females name to feel more secure about herself.

[Laura Henry @sgutarevich]

Money may not solve every problem, but it would likely solve my money problem.

[Laura Henry @sgutarevich]

There's a good chance this chocolate cake will need rape counseling after I'm done.

[Laura Henry @sgutarevich]

Twitter is the only place Where I get excited when a stranger follows you.

[Laura Henry @sgutarevich]

Geez, you dress up like the Grim Reaper ONE time and they never let you back into this nursing home.

[Melody Lynch @rimkhanitskiy]

My favorite coffee in the morning is the one where no one talks to me while I drink it.

[Delores Morgan @SeynaVip]

"Don't tell your mom."

[Glenda Vinson @spodrezenko]

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

[Reina Snyder @85Grozdov]

There's a special place in Hell reserved for people who use hashtags on Facebook.

[Laura Henry @sgutarevich]

Patient: How much longer do I have? Doctor: Ten. Patient: Ten What? Doctor: Nine...

[Laura Henry @sgutarevich]

I instantly smile when I see a text from you, I don't care what's in it. It's amazing to know I crossed your mind even just for a second.

[Laura Henry @sgutarevich]

ME: Well at least somebody's taking my Zombie Apocalypse theory seriously. *glares at wife*

[Laura Henry @sgutarevich]

That awkward moment when you want to scare someone but they take too long to come out.

[Laura Henry @sgutarevich]

Don't call my phone and ask "Who is this" . . you called ME

[Shari Harrison @alya_gordo]

When someone rings the doorbell why do dogs always assume its for them?

[Joyce Vazquez @gekhtman]

Best time to sleep: 10% When you're tired. 90% After you wake up .

[Laura Henry @sgutarevich]

The Gaga Law (RAH)^2 (AH)^3 + RO (MA + MAMA) + (GA)^2 + OOH(LA)^2 = Bad Romance.

[Laura Henry @sgutarevich]

During exams, students look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information.

[Laura Henry @sgutarevich]

Two things to remember: Don't make decisions when you're angry, and don't make promises when you're happy.