Delores Morgan

Don't think too much. You'll create a problem that wasn't even there in the first place.

[Delores Morgan @SeynaVip]

My texting speed increases when I'm mad.

[Doris Dossantos @7Nliskovich]

Everyone has one friend that they secretly hate.

[Delores Morgan @SeynaVip]

I hear everything, i just choose not to say anything.

[Delores Morgan @SeynaVip]

Brain : reminds you to do something important, refuse to tell you what it is!

[Barbara Macias @LukeryaTiunova]

Chris Brown hits her, Eminem lies to her, Drake can't remember her name = The life of Rihanna

[Delores Morgan @SeynaVip]

"But officer, this IS my costume. I'm banana nut bread! If I put clothes on, I'm just a normal guy holding a slice of bread."

[Delores Morgan @SeynaVip]

Men are born between a woman's legs and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in them. Why? Because there's no place like home.

[Marth Jacks @L6Ezhinskaya84]

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

[Delores Morgan @SeynaVip]

My Mom + My Dad - Condom = Greatest Person Ever ;)...

[Delores Morgan @SeynaVip]

"Don't tell your mom."

[Delores Morgan @SeynaVip]

Dear Job Application, if this is an entry level position, how am I supposed to have previous experience...

[Kimberly Bradshaw @simonkov74]

The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

[Laura Andrus @maksimiansoloz1]

#recipes #food https://t.co/aZLPngN4LP

[Patricia Bruton @2_chernogube]

You are what you eat. So eat skinny people.

[Florence Shelton @vgerasimik]

Don't let people who barely do anything for you, control your feelings & emotions.

[Delores Morgan @SeynaVip]

That awkward moment when you spell a word so wrong even autocorrect can`t figure out what you meant.

[Barbara Presley @MulikhinaS4]

Have you ever read a book by Shakespeare? No only by candlelight.

[Delores Morgan @SeynaVip]

Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!

[Delores Morgan @SeynaVip]

If you're talking behind my back you're in a good position to kiss my ass.

[Elenore Allen @MsZlobnov]

It's getting late and the kids are still hunting for eggs... Hmm, I guess I should've hidden some.