Kimberly Bradshaw

Put your boobs back in your shirt, smile instead of doing that duck face and put your middle finger down. Have some self-respect!

[Delores Morgan @SeynaVip]

Brain : reminds you to do something important, refuse to tell you what it is!

[Kimberly Bradshaw @simonkov74]

"H3y wUt r yhu dooinq?" ... About to throw a dictionary at yo ass

[Kari Voss @sonov90]

Nothing is more Beautiful than a real Smile that has struggled through tears..

[Barbara Hooper @MrVasilkina]

An update that requires me to restart my laptop is an update that is never getting installed.

[Kimberly Bradshaw @simonkov74]

Everything is funny as hell when its not happening to you.

[Kimberly Bradshaw @simonkov74]

Listening to someone tell a story and thinking: Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie.

[Diane Morgan @ariskin4]

My girlfriend told me to see things from a girl's point of view, so I looked out the kitchen window.

[Kimberly Bradshaw @simonkov74]

Looking at things you wrote or comments you made from a year ago and wondering how you could possibly be that stupid.

[Kimberly Bradshaw @simonkov74]

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

[Kimberly Bradshaw @simonkov74]

He who laughs last, didn't get it.

[Molly Digirolamo @shedzl1]

Don't complain about the dentist fee of $90 for 1 minutes work to extract a tooth! He can make it last longer!

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

Police Officer: "Freeze!" .. Criminal: "EVERYBODY CLAP YOUR HANDS!"

[Kimberly Bradshaw @simonkov74]

Car sickness is that feeling you get every month when the payment is due.

[Kimberly Bradshaw @simonkov74]

The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

[Kimberly Bradshaw @simonkov74]

sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police

[Kimberly Bradshaw @simonkov74]

An ugly personality will crush a gorgeous face.

[Kimberly Bradshaw @simonkov74]

I love rumors. I always find out amazing things about myself that I never knew about.

[Karen Reyes @chuppueva1]

Cars and bars means stars and scars.

[Kimberly Bradshaw @simonkov74]

Sleep is my drug. My bed is my dealer. My alarm is the cops. Work is the jail.

[Kimberly Bradshaw @simonkov74]

'Are you as bored as I am?' Makes sense even when you read it backwards...