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Diane Morgan
@ariskin4
Forgiveness is the first step to moving on to a happier life. You have to forgive in order to heal....
Woodbridge
Joined February 2015
71
Following
84
Followers
514
Posts
Diane Morgan
@ariskin4
about 11 years ago
Offering someone food and secretly hoping they say no.
Diane Morgan
@ariskin4
about 11 years ago
Cop: Why were you speeding? Me: I'm going to the store to get Oreos. Cop: Double stuffed? Me: Of course. Cop: Carry on.
ariskin4
retweeted
Kimberli Bilderback
@grinyagina82
about 11 years ago
Looking at things you wrote or comments you made from a year ago and wondering how you could possibly be that stupid.
ariskin4
retweeted
Angeline Johnson
@Deresh88T
about 11 years ago
An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!'
Diane Morgan
@ariskin4
about 11 years ago
My girlfriend told me to see things from a girl's point of view, so I looked out the kitchen window.
ariskin4
retweeted
Valerie Rosa
@gladinov
about 11 years ago
"I love you" "OMG, really? What a coincidence!" "Why? You love me too?" "No, I love myself too!"
ariskin4
retweeted
Bonnie Cantrell
@mchemerkin
about 11 years ago
Twitter looks boring on the outside, but once you start using it, it's like f*cking Narnia.
Diane Morgan
@ariskin4
about 11 years ago
My ex? Yeah, I'd still hit that. Only this time, it'd be with a car or a baseball bat.
ariskin4
retweeted
Laura Hopps
@lagodnov
about 11 years ago
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
ariskin4
retweeted
Tressa Borrego
@chichvarina1
about 11 years ago
Whenever I delete text messages, I feel like I'm deleting evidence..
Diane Morgan
@ariskin4
about 11 years ago
"Never Mind." Definition: You should've listened the first 3 times b*tch.
ariskin4
retweeted
Elsie Castello
@slambanin
about 11 years ago
My twitter Is Rated "I" . "I" tweet what the fuck "I" want, when "I" feel like it. Therefore if you don't like it "I" don't give A FUCK!!"
ariskin4
retweeted
Stacey Bible
@LyapkinMega
about 11 years ago
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Diane Morgan
@ariskin4
about 11 years ago
If you tickle me, I'm not responsible for your injuries
Diane Morgan
@ariskin4
about 11 years ago
Scientists have found that putting the phrase "Scientists have found" in front of something will make people read it.
Diane Morgan
@ariskin4
about 11 years ago
Black People Pray when they bout to Whoop somebodys Ass! "Lawd gimme strength before I Beat this Bitch ASS! Amen"
ariskin4
retweeted
Bidisha Kalita
@BidishaKalita01
about 11 years ago
ME: Well at least somebody's taking my Zombie Apocalypse theory seriously. *glares at wife*
ariskin4
retweeted
Ethel Barnes
@akinfb1
about 11 years ago
Marriage is the most expensive way to get advice for nothing.
Diane Morgan
@ariskin4
about 11 years ago
If dicks had wings your mouth would be an airport.
Diane Morgan
@ariskin4
about 11 years ago
Whenever I open a package of bread I skip the first piece. Because its ugly.
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