Stacey Bible

Trust can be lost within seconds, takes a lifetime to regain, and is still never as strong.

[Stacey Bible @LyapkinMega]

I stepped on a cornflake now I`m a cereal killer

[Stacey Bible @LyapkinMega]

98% of the people in this world are stupid! Lucky for me, I'm part of the other 5%.

[Stacey Bible @LyapkinMega]

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

[Stacey Bible @LyapkinMega]

"Actually, you were born by c-section, son."

[Stacey Bible @LyapkinMega]

Anyone else wonder why we drive in the parkway yet park in the driveway?

[Stacey Bible @LyapkinMega]

Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!

[Stacey Bible @LyapkinMega]

Never let someone steal your happiness... it was never theirs to take.

[Stacey Bible @LyapkinMega]

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

[Stacey Bible @LyapkinMega]

Ignorance is bliss... unless you have a wife who keeps making you aware of it.

[Donna Barkley @2016Ipat]

I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, "Hello?" As if the bad guy is gonna be like, "Yeah, I'm in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?"

[Stacey Bible @LyapkinMega]

Marriage is the most expensive way to get advice for nothing.

[Bidisha Kalita @BidishaKalita01]

"Because snow isn't cold enough."

[Barbara Eubank @zavlyuk95]

A Girl in China lost her Virginity at the age of 13, She was called "Sum Yung Ho"

[Pamela Poole @vsurint]

I am always right even when I am right about being wrong.

[Rocio Swanson @nadberezhnyy]

Back in elementary school, when you were line leader, everyone else was your bitch.

[Stacey Bible @LyapkinMega]

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

[Margaret Newman @plugarevserapi1]

Mum: Why is your room always so messy? Me: So that if someone comes in and tries to kill me, they'll trip over something and die.

[Laura Hopps @petrinavetchin1]

S.T.U.D.Y = Singing, Tweeting, Unlimited Texting, Dreaming, Yawning.

[Stacey Bible @LyapkinMega]

Textaphrenia - thinking you've heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.

[Stacey Bible @LyapkinMega]

Who else wakes up in the morning and checks their Twitter like its the morning paper?