Valerie Rosa

Don't choose the better person, choose the person who makes you a better you.

[Valerie Rosa @gladinov]

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

[Connie Hernandez @zaborevap]

It's weird how some people are so loud on Twitter, but so quiet in real life.

[Elsie Castello @slambanin]

How did the Dinosaur pass his exam? With Extinction!

[Jeane Mitchell @CoolLakin]

Negative people need drama like oxygen...Stay positive, it'll take their breath away!

[Bella White @shaluev78]

In kindergarden, anyone who had the 64 color pack with the sharpener ran that muthaf*cking classroom!

[Cheryl Collins @ipochkarev]

Honestly, Ive never seen anyone fall because of a banana.

[Valerie Rosa @gladinov]

1-800-CHOKE-A-HOE

[Valerie Rosa @gladinov]

Some people are REAL. Some are FAKE. But some are REAL good at being FAKE..

[Valerie Rosa @gladinov]

I speak 4 languages, English, profanity, sarcasm & real shit!

[Karen Jimenez @drablenkov1]

Guess it's time to do some grocery shopping. A mouse hung itself in my fridge and left a note "I can't live like this..."

[Valerie Rosa @gladinov]

The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.

[Lynette Scott @80Timshina]

"I'll be there in 5 minutes... If not, read this again."

[Valerie Rosa @gladinov]

"I love you" "OMG, really? What a coincidence!" "Why? You love me too?" "No, I love myself too!"

[Valerie Rosa @gladinov]

"Would you like a bag?" "No thanks, I thought I would carry these 14 items on my head..."

[Valerie Rosa @gladinov]

Once you take my kindness for weakness, I will be a permanent asshole to you.

[Nell Sanchez @ArzamasovaMaya]

I was good at math, until they added the alphabet...

[Valerie Rosa @gladinov]

Son asked about sex..."Well son, it's like bees. When they poke something, their stinger gets ripped off & they die. Then a bird eats them."

[Valerie Rosa @gladinov]

The worst feeling is when someone makes you feel special, then suddenly leaves you hanging. and u just have to act like u don't care at all

[Valerie Rosa @gladinov]

Why couldn't the ghost get a drink at the bar? They don't serve SPIRITS!

[Christopher Garcia @NuraevaRozochka]

Always be yourself, unless you can be a Batman. Then always be a Batman.