Neva Smiley

One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else.

[Stacie Brasel @abonakov]

Saying "I'm almost there" when you actually haven't even left the house.

[Neva Smiley @88Izot]

"In my defense, Your Honor, humans ARE animals too. Personally, I think you should blame the petting zoo sign for not being more specific."

[Neva Smiley @88Izot]

9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

[Neva Smiley @88Izot]

I look at my best friend & think: Why the hell do I love this crazy person?

[Helen Shumaker @VesninNazariy]

I hate it when I say something funny, and then someone says it louder and gets all the credit.

[Neva Smiley @88Izot]

Admit it. None of us know how to play Minesweeper. We just click randoms boxes.

[Neva Smiley @88Izot]

How do Hypnotists get from place to place? By public trance-port!

[Neva Smiley @88Izot]

I had a photographic memory but it was never developed.

[Neva Smiley @88Izot]

When people go underwater in movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would survive in that situation. I died in Finding Nemo.

[Freda Trevino @mashanova_z]

That moment when you do something epic and no one is around to see it.

[Darcy Wilken @skhoruzheva]

I leave work to the last day because I'll be older and therefore wiser.

[Patricia Stoll @bakhmutovvsesl1]

"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."

[Neva Smiley @88Izot]

Facebook: What's on your mind? ..Twitter: What's happening? ... Myspace: Where did everybody go?

[Neva Smiley @88Izot]

If you're SKINNY as hell [borderline anorexic] you ain't got NO business tryna go on a Diet. Fuck you tryna lose? Your life?

[Neva Smiley @88Izot]

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

[Neva Smiley @88Izot]

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you wll have trouble putting on your pants.

[Lynne Butcher @golenkina]

My wife just told me she's pregnant. God, I hope it's not mine.

[Neva Smiley @88Izot]

My ex? We're not friends, we're not enemies. We're just strangers with some memories...

[Neva Smiley @88Izot]

It's not about the people who act true to your face... It's about the people who remain real behind your back.

[Neva Smiley @88Izot]

Relationships last longer when everybody doesn't know your business.