911 Redhead

Ex-paramedic, now serving on the dark side of the radio. *customer service voice* "911, what are you reporting?"

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

Not sure whether to call 911 or non-emergency?

If it's in progress now or just occurred, and someone needs to respond to the incident in person, use 911.

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

@TimmyWolfie Yes, definitely! I love it!

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

"911, what are you reporting?"
"Um I don't know if this guy just got shot, but I heard gunshots so I looked out, and I see a guy pointing a gun at another guy who is on the ground screaming."

Yeah I'll go ahead and call that a shooting until proven otherwise

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

#overheard
"So their pants are down, but you can't tell if they're male or female?"

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

The main reason I've used any sick leave this year has been because it's physically impossible to get enough rest in between shifts with all the mandatory overtime, and sometimes I'm too tired to function.
It just occurred to me how messed up it is that they're doing this.

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

Pro tip: if you are hitchhiking, don't wear your jail inmate outfit.
Nobody will pick you up. 😐

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

Eight 911 calls hit the screen within 2 seconds. All downtown. This is usually a shooting.

"911, what are you reporting?"
"A shooting."

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

I've got an open line, not really hearing anything. I do the usual TTY check, and I'm getting ready to disconnect and call back when I'm like, I think this faint static is actually someone breathing.

"Press a button if you need help?"
Immediately, *beep*

I got a chill 😳

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

I just took a call for a drive-by shooting, it's been a while since I had one. It went really smooth. Caller was excellent, got a license plate, suspect description, and description of the target vehicle.

Turns out it was a paintball gun, they found the splats 😂

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

Converted military time backwards, accidentally put in that a hit and run occurred 1 hour in the future. Radio was like "was this yesterday, or it hasn't happened yet?" I corrected and sent a "lol my bad" note. She replied, "I thought maybe they were going 88 miles per hour!"

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

@Emmie12750 Yes she was! She had sent the caller a couple of really concerning text messages ("Help, 911, can't talk") and I'm not sure what the story ended up being but she is fine.

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

I have an out of state caller requesting a welfare check on a friend, doesn't know the friend's address. "It's near a dollar store and a Verizon store that have an industrial area behind them, near the 54 bus route, in a green house on the corner across from a small park."

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

I'm trying to figure out if this caller has something to report or if they're just rambling.
"Do you need police, fire, or medical aid?"
"What a weird question! Go eat some oxygen or something!"

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

I just got a call reporting that a driver sped up intentionally to kill a baby deer that was following its mother across the road. I'm so disturbed by this one. It's so needlessly evil...

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

Got a new headset today after 3 years. It sounds really clear! Full HD sound of the family screaming after their dad shot himself 🤦‍♀️

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

So far today, a frequent texter has called me a creep, a cracker, a terminator, a communist, Hitler, immature, abusive, inbred, a dream killer, a "selfish hypothermic ass," a thief, a liar, an old man, a "lousy sneezer," a junk Subaru, and the imperial emperor of star wars. ✨

[Adam Sharp @AdamCSharp]

How dads say “You left the door open” in other languages:

5. Were you born on a trolleybus? (Lithuanian)
4. Are we at the Colosseum? (Italian)
3. Your tail must be long (Korean)
2. Don’t you have a rock for your cave? (Romanian)
1. Were you born with a yoke up your ass? (Slovak)

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

It's fun to remember that all of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and memories are just the meat jello inside your skull zapping itself with tiny amounts of patterned electricity.

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

Finishing up the details on a freshly stolen car.

"It's got a black Thule roof box, the enclosed kind, and a gray front bumper"

BLACK THULE ENCLOSED ROOF BOX, GRAY FRONT BUMPER

"And there's a sticker on the back, BLM: Bang Local MILFS"

REAR STICKER "BLM: BANG LOCAL [WOMEN]"

[911 Redhead @911_redhead]

#overheard my new coworker taking a medical aid call from an urgent care.

"Tell me exactly what happened?
...
Okay, mhm
...
What's a priapism, I'm not familiar with that?
...
OH."