Rachel Garcia

Grades dont measure intelligence and age doesnt define maturity.

[Flora McCoy @grechishko_ms]

Math problems: "Jane bought 72 sofas." BITCH, who the hell would buy 72 sofas?

[Rachel Garcia @93Khusnullin]

If someone hid something on page 2 of google searches, no one would ever find it.

[Beverly Donahue @DSpataev1976]

How did the Dinosaur pass his exam? With Extinction!

[Molly Digirolamo @shedzl1]

Me + Mathematics = Syntax error.

[Rachel Garcia @93Khusnullin]

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

[Beth Davis @2zZapadnova94]

Don't f*ck with someone else relationship just cause you can't stay in one.

[Rachel Garcia @93Khusnullin]

I'm not late boss, I just took my coffee break before coming in.

[Pamela Campbell @ChuliyKondrat]

Me? Weird? Bitch please, I'm limited edition.

[Deborah Desantis @rbolvushkina]

After Monday and Tuesday, even the calender says W T F.

[Rachel Garcia @93Khusnullin]

Paper cut = A tree's moment of revenge.

[Rachel Garcia @93Khusnullin]

I hate when people tell me to calm down when I'm not even mad.

[Rachel Garcia @93Khusnullin]

I'm worried, I'm stressed, I'm confused but I have God that will make the right things happen so it will all be alright.

[Rachel Garcia @93Khusnullin]

I would go through many things for you. Let's start with your bank account.

[Rachel Garcia @93Khusnullin]

My friend Phillip has his lip removed today. We just call him Phil now.

[Katheryn Steinmetz @IoutsiVip]

I used to be able to make ends meet. But now they just stare at each other awkwardly from across the room.

[Rachel Garcia @93Khusnullin]

If someone hid something on page 2 of google searches, no one would ever find it.

[Rachel Garcia @93Khusnullin]

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

[Nikki McKnight @verkhovskaya94]

Internet Explorer is the best browser for downloading another browser.

[Rachel Garcia @93Khusnullin]

Unemployment Tip: Always get a full eight hours of sleep. Every three hours.

[Rachel Garcia @93Khusnullin]

Life Guard: Don't dive off that board! There's no water in the pool! Dummy: It's ok I can't swim!