Patrice Murry

A pretty face is nothing if you have an ugly heart.

[Patrice Murry @95Mostovenko]

Age 10: I whip my hair back &forth Age 16: I pass my blunt back &forth Age 30:I drive my kids back &forth Age 80:I rock my chair back &forth

[Agnes Starkey @SelivanEleskin]

That awkward moment when people think your guy best friend is your boyfriend.

[Patrice Murry @95Mostovenko]

If practice makes perfect. And no ones perfect, what's the point of practice?

[Laurie McBride @valshingostomy1]

"..."

[Rebekah Jackson @lgordiets]

White bitches get pregnant and get a show "16 and Pregnant" Black bitches get pregnant and get 30 minutes of Maury.

[Patrice Murry @95Mostovenko]

Even if people turn their backs on you, God never does.

[Patrice Murry @95Mostovenko]

I'm pretty sure God is a man. Because whoever put this crazy world together obviously didn't follow the instructions.

[Gina Gartman @evanovichliozo1]

Brain : reminds you to do something important, refuse to tell you what it is!

[Leigh Cavender @IoannKhalfin]

Awkward eye contact with people in cars next to you at red lights.

[Rita Duplessis @94Mefodiy]

During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

[Patrice Murry @95Mostovenko]

Skinny girls run the world because fat girls don't run.

[Patrice Murry @95Mostovenko]

"Dad, did you know in some countries men don't know their wives till after they get married?"

[Suzanne Olson @AykuiKnyshova]

Find someone that changes your life....NOT just your relationship status.

[Patrice Murry @95Mostovenko]

Don't steal. That's the government's job.

[Patrice Murry @95Mostovenko]

*Browsing Facebook* *See's bitchy status* 78 COMMENTS! *Gets popcorn* This is gonna be good.

[Barbara Kaplan @1iIkhalevina]

If she's a Hoe in her Tweets.. Then she's a Hoe in the Streets!

[Patrice Murry @95Mostovenko]

Lies - Im fine : That was my last piece of gum : Ill call you back : Im on my way : I never got that text : I promise I won't laugh.

[Madeline Salazar @arsentiykoncha1]

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.