Deborah Frampton

Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.

[Deborah Frampton @9Fkushneruk]

Facebook: *Scrolling down your newsfeed thinking:* "don't care'' "Whore" "Your life sucks" "Song lyrics" "Inside joke?" "Needs a therapist"

[Deborah Frampton @9Fkushneruk]

My son told me he could see the future. So I punched him in the face. "Guess you're not very good at it."

[Deborah Frampton @9Fkushneruk]

If dicks had wings your mouth would be an airport.

[Mary Citizen @Q7Rudukha]

Facebook is for the people you go to school with. Twitter is for the people you wish you went to school with..

[Deborah Frampton @9Fkushneruk]

To make a long story short, don't tell it.

[Deborah Frampton @9Fkushneruk]

"But officer, this IS my costume. I'm banana nut bread! If I put clothes on, I'm just a normal guy holding a slice of bread."

[Joy Meeks @bruseninaf]

"Because snow isn't cold enough."

[Deborah Frampton @9Fkushneruk]

I keep a baseball bat under the bed, just in case someone breaks in and throws a ball at me.

[Michele Hobbs @GorgoniySuper]

Climate is what you expect: weather is what you get.

[Lenora Sanchez @bulavchuk1981]

Boxer: "Have I done him any damage?" "No, but keep on swinging the draft might give him a cold."

[Deborah Frampton @9Fkushneruk]

Horror movies don't scare me. But eight missed calls from my mom does.

[Deborah Frampton @9Fkushneruk]

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

[Karen Jimenez @drablenkov1]

Not being able to iron out all of his problems made the dry cleaner very depressed.

[Deborah Frampton @9Fkushneruk]

That gangsta feeling when you rap your favorite song without messing up.

[Juanita Murphy @tozaviFi]

A Girl in China lost her Virginity at the age of 13, She was called "Sum Yung Ho"

[Ethel Barnes @akinfb1]

Sober, we don't know each other. Drunk, we are best friends.

[Deborah Frampton @9Fkushneruk]

I'll take a McAnything please.

[Deborah Frampton @9Fkushneruk]

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

[Emma Stevenson @76Garevskikh]

Life is like a piece of chocolate you find on the floor. At first you're excited, but then you eat it and realize... that wasn't chocolate.

[Patricia Troia @apreliyasloboz1]

Im allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.