Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks

Web Developer. Stand-Up Comic. Blue Whale Comedy Festival organizer.

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

If you’re an adult and still say “it’s your birthday month” it should effect your credit score.

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

Please support my efforts to gerrymander the shared @Chilis Triple Dipper. You can be instrumental in helping us retake power in the Fried Mozzarella and Chicken Crisper districts. We cannot cede power to those that expect us to only dine on Southwest Eggrolls.

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

Sources say the DOJ has a credible witness for their indictment of former FBI Director James Comey. Little is known about the witness, but it is being reported that she sells seashells by the seashore.

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

Head on over to PrizePicks to get your new pope bet locked in. Use the promo code “VANCEVISITDIDHIMIN” to double your winnings if your bet hits. Don’t let your opportunity to win BIG MONEY go up in white smoke. Make PrizePicks your destination for all your religious betting needs

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

Hit that react button if you want to join my improv troup “Execute the Baby.”

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

Since it’s a such a slow news night, what’s your favorite dipping sauce?

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

Kansas City’s latest hotspot is “The Kelce Suite.” It has everything. Swifties. Sansa Stark. Deadpool dressed like Van Wilder.

[MeidasTouch @MeidasTouch]

Will CNN continue to host their town hall with a sexual abuser this Wednesday?

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

Wouldn’t recommend: Event Horizon before bed. #sixwordstory

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

Thank you to everyone that participated in Scorpio Breeding Day. We need more allies in this astrologically divided world.

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

@mccaslid RIP Dave’s Twitter account

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

@tobymorton I just bought my verified Toby Morton account so you’re toast my dude

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

I heard it’s only 69 cents a month to get verified on Xanga.

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

Dating isn’t easy for me at this point in my life. #dating #single #comedy #standupcomedy #comedian

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

Sleepy Joe would be a 🔥weed strain name, just saying.

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

@tobymorton We can sue Toby for his Jewishness?! I should have done this YEARS ago!

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

@tobymorton I think that order of operations is a little flawed

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

@tobymorton They obviously don’t know you well enough to know the depths of your stupidity. 🤠

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

@tobymorton Are you The Hulk…@MarkRuffalo is Toby The Hulk?

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

A woman I went on a date with a year ago texted me to let me know McDonalds spicy nuggets are back. If she’s flirting, it’s working.

[Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks @ADeacon]

Those galaxy photos from the James Webb Space Telescope are giving out serious Winamp Visualization vibes.