Amy Woodall

Reading, writing, walking the dog

[Amy Woodall @AJMQ]

Wooooooooooowwwwwwww

[God Is A Tulpa @kristy_clueless]

I love how every part of this headline is pure chaos

[Amy Woodall @AJMQ]

@jim_towns Very nighs

[Amy Woodall @AJMQ]

@jim_towns 💯

[Amy Woodall @AJMQ]

@bradmeltzer My husband arrived for his wisdom teeth removal and the receptionist did her best Klingon “Today is a good day to die.” 😳

[Amy Woodall @AJMQ]

@Ruby_Patch That looks good! Merry Christmas!

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

What if during Halloween people said "creepy crawlidays"

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Current flavours of hot drinks/candles in Britain:

-Pumpkin spice
-Damp bonfire
-Ghost breath
-Festive guff
-Disappointing firework
-Damp coat
-Musk of regret
-Wet leg
-Aroma of “someone’s been at this brandy”
-Panic and mull
-Incense and fig migraine

[Scribner @ScribnerBooks]

“Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

Don't go into corn mazes this fall you'll die I've lost 70+ friends in corn mazes when will enough be enough corn mazes are death traps okay bye

[Amy Woodall @AJMQ]

In googly-eye news...

[NOT A WOLF @SICKOFWOLVES]

LISTEN I WOULD LOVE TO GRAB A DRINK TONIGHT BUT I WILL BE BUSY OPENING AND CLOSING THE SAME THREE APPS OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL I GO TO SLEEP

[NOT A WOLF @SICKOFWOLVES]

MY FAVORITE PART OF BUYING A BOOK IS TAKING WAY TOO LONG TO READ THE BOOK AND LOOKING AT THE BOOK AND GETTING ALL STRESSED OUT BY THE BOOK AND EVENTUALLY GROWING TO HATE THE BOOK FOR WHAT ITS DONE TO MY LIFE

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“I’ll check it out” - Translation: I will never watch the television programme you just suggested I watch

[JR @JRDRD]

JURASSIC PARK SEQUEL IDEA:

3 Million AD.

The humans are extinct.

The dino-scientists find mosquitoes with human blood.

Guess who they clone...

Jeff. Fucking. Goldblum.

They mix up the mosquito DNA with Goldblum's.

Surprise assholes.

This is now a sequel to The Fly.

[Amy Woodall @AJMQ]

@fixer_upper @manfredwoodall @librarianamy https://t.co/V3B4UhTfqh

[Southern Delaware Tourism @VisitSouthDel]

Lots of fun Southern Delaware Breweries on this trail... https://t.co/TsX1VWD9D0

[Amy Woodall @AJMQ]

@jim_towns Woodalls and Watsons represent

[Christopher Moore @TheAuthorGuy]

Oh don't shit all over the royal wedding. It's fancy, there are pretty outfits, a mixed-race American woman is about to become a Duchess by marrying a lovely ginger prince. Our country is being run by a malevolent yeast infection, fancy and lovely is a nice break. Just chill.