A.J. Tierney 🔥

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints

[A.J. Tierney 🔥 @AJ_Tierney]

You vs the guy she tells you not to worry about

[molly @molllllusk]

taylor swift breaking up with the person she wrote peace about has the potential to be absolutely catastrophic for the girls

[The Tweedy Mutant @the_tweedy]

My 68-year-old dad went by himself to a pro-choice protest in Oklahoma City with safety goggles, a jug of milk, and a New Jersey working class attitude that he only brings out on special occasions.

[Sarah Lazarus @sarahclazarus]

did I “kill a plant” or did the plant not have what it takes to thrive in this fast-paced environment

[Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy]

Nobody is putting gargoyles on buildings anymore. It can’t be that much more expensive to slap a gargoyle up there. We used to be a proper country.

[kyle cL @kycarrerolopez]

as a gay teenager, i never felt like i had the proper tools to succeed. that’s why, for this pride month, i’ve partnered with home depot,

[system vulva down @svendsgaard]

every guy I know who quit comedy quit bc he didn’t get the attention he thought he deserved and every woman I know who quit comedy quit bc some guy threatened to kill her

[ava 🇵🇸 @wownicebuttdude]

just found out that this image was on the cover of rolling stone in 1994

[yassified arafat @sweatyhabibti]

if someone does not tell me this instant what is happening here i will DIE

[prance @bocxtop]

all the horrible shit they said would happen if trump was re-elected…is still happening

[alizea @teeliciouss_]

I went to law school because my dad was sentenced to life in prison for non-violent drug crimes. I did what I could to get him out. He did 20 years and got out right in time for my graduation.

[cas says free palestine @CrappyFumes]

This was how Carlin opened the special. He just ran out and this was his first joke.
A real one.

[alyssugh (she/her) @alystentothis]

“the constitution does not reference the right to an abortion” the constitution does not reference women

[A.J. Tierney 🔥 @AJ_Tierney]

Chris Rocks debut on red table talk will break the internet.

[Praxis Makes Perfect @AlexPleskach1]

Thinking about the time in 1928 when the LAPD couldn’t find a missing child, publicly “reunited” the mother with some random kid to save face, and then institutionalized the mother when she tried to tell people it wasn’t her son rather than admit their mistake

[Anne Sundell @anne_sundell]

being single sucks when u have to designate an emergency contact bc what? my dad's gonna fly to burbank when i faint at a pilates studio?