Alex Baylard

Casting Directors swipe right.

[Alex Baylard @ALBaylard]

For the last week and a half I believed Roxie was killed by coyotes. She was gone 2 weeks. Then I get this today:
*Starring mom's thumb*

[Alex Baylard @ALBaylard]

Not saying I’m for either case— but the argument against indicting a sitting President has a gaping hole in it.

If they really wanted to do it, maybe they would consider indicting the President during one of the rare instances he is standing up....

[Alex Baylard @ALBaylard]

I just entered the Mean Girls lottery to win $42.50 tickets! https://t.co/G2Oqlul4lT via @Lucky_Seat

[Alex Baylard @ALBaylard]

Eating organic peanut butter by the spoonful is much more trying than eating normal peanut butter. It’s like trying to swallow clay. #saynotoorganicpeanutbutter #difficulteats #thepeanutstruggle

[Alex Baylard @ALBaylard]

@thekylejobrien I knew I was making a mistake

[Alex Baylard @ALBaylard]

It’s hard not to feel like Darth Maul pulling down his hood before the great battle in Phantom Menace when I pull down my hood walking to the locker room in Blink.

[Alex Baylard @ALBaylard]

Ahhhhhhh. Ya gotta love a good old fashioned catfish attempt, right?.... 😌

[Alex Baylard @ALBaylard]

There are more people in Blink at 11pm than at 8:30am and I might throw something.

[Alex Baylard @ALBaylard]

There are those of us who are sweating to get to 5,000 Instagram followers, and then there’s @TheRock who casually has well over 1/3 of the United States population following him smashing giant plates of cookies and trolling @KevinHart4real
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Maybe don’t take life so seriously

[Alex Baylard @ALBaylard]

lol ^ and the song is “I’m Alright.”
“..it’s a beautiful day not a cloud in sight....”
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Whatever u say Jo Dee

[Alex Baylard @ALBaylard]

When it’s this cold u listen to Jo Dee Messina.

[Alex Baylard @ALBaylard]

I’m in a hurry to get things done alright..... Russian, Russian till life’s no fun.

That’s how that goes right?

[Brian Krassenstein @krassenstein]

@realDonaldTrump News Flash: Democrats voted to give you billions of dollars to protect the border. YOU TURNED IT DOWN.

Democrats and Republicans have put forth funding to secure the border. YOU TURNED IT DOWN.

YOU are Radical.

YOU are creating the Humanitarian crisis!

[Hillary Clinton @HillaryClinton]

Like I said: A puppet.

[Josh Marshall @joshtpm]

October 19th, 2016

[Jessica Ryan @JessicaRyanNYLA]

I can't quite find the words to help me unpack this day. The @broadwayunlocked Giveback Concert started in a living room, with @averyragsdale and me, and a lot of 3x5 note cards strewn about as we tried to find the bare minimum of people - 10 people who … https://t.co/axkhVE7Hmp

[Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome]

A new study finds that people over 65 share the most fake news. Or as people over 65 put it, “People under 65 share the most fake news.”

[Alex Baylard @ALBaylard]

Just put fish into the oven. Let’s see if it comes out as fish. 🤨🐠🐡🐊🐋...

[Alex Baylard @ALBaylard]

@JessicaRyanNYLA Lol

[Alex Baylard @ALBaylard]

When your idea of a good time is watching your credit score jump upward, you know that something has changed.... 🤓