AP

Hardcore gamer!!... thats about it i guess

[QouteRoast 🔥 @QouteRoast]

9-1-1 🎬

That balcony rescue call turns into a Munchausen by proxy case.

[LagWasReal @LagWasReal]

"FLY! FLY YOU FAT FUCK! BOTH OF OUR LIVES DEPEND ON IT! FLY!"

#Palworld

[Eyal Yakoby @EYakoby]

He tried to stab someone.

Why did you edit the video?

Why do you people always lie?

[Muy.Mona/🇪🇸💚 @Capitana_espana]

Hay que tuitearlo todos los días.

[AP @APG0rilla]

@Neduszn8 Di maria

[Vito Quiles 🇪🇸 @vitoquiles]

Fueron a por la mujer de Aznar hasta la puerta de la peluquería.

Fueron a la casa de Rajoy cuando salía a hacer footing.

Fueron encapuchados a la casa del novio de Díaz Ayuso.

Lo único que cambia es la reacción e ideología de la pentaimputada.

No vais a prohibir mi trabajo.

[Muy.Mona/🇪🇸💚 @Capitana_espana]

Voy a intentar conseguir que este pepino tenga más likes que el tuit de Irene Montero.

[AP @APG0rilla]

@damzychillin Arbeloa

[Vito Quiles 🇪🇸 @vitoquiles]

@SarahPerezSanta A ver si te enteras: ni el programa ni ningún colaborador te acusa de ser una falsa víctima, te lo dice UNA JUEZA, un MÉDICO y un FISCAL. Basta ya de teatro. Quítate el cabestrillo falso que llevas.

[AP @APG0rilla]

@XiohBlanco Participo

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[AP @APG0rilla]

@ImAge8_48 Exclamó la princesa jajaja

[AP @APG0rilla]

y con estas cositas que se hace? https://t.co/mFaotD4axB @realmadrid

[Vito Quiles 🇪🇸 @vitoquiles]

Esto es muy grave. Ana Pardo de Vera me amenaza enseñando una placa de policía.

¿Por qué esta señora tiene eso? Es urgente que lo aclaren, @policia.

[AP @APG0rilla]

@contrastado Quisiera ver los antecedentes del magrebi desde que esta en España... por curiosidad nada más

[AP @APG0rilla]

@arturomairena @contrastado El huevo seguro

[AP @APG0rilla]

@Fat_Electrician Hey come on she had a portal gun to break and enter any time... Wait...

[Luka Modrić @lukamodric10]

No llores porque terminó, sonríe porque sucedió.

[Luka Modrić @lukamodric10]

Madridistas, os quiero mucho 🤍

[Libs of TikTok @libsoftiktok]

Hi @PrairieStateCol, did you see this?