AP

[AP @APPLEJAK27]

Me: the perfect commercial doesn’t exist

Nobody: https://t.co/uqjw1ri4Tx

[AP @APPLEJAK27]

Hear me out: a tv show called “scratch that itch” where we see which contestant can last longest before…you get it.

[AP @APPLEJAK27]

@JThreeTimes

[Mike Camerlengo @MCamerlengo]

Quarterback Jeremy Grey got destroyed on a blitz by Sack Lodge because he didn’t adjust his offense line protection.

I broke down the play from Wedding Crashers here

[AP @APPLEJAK27]

@ScottTMcMurtry

[AP @APPLEJAK27]

@bep truly have their fingers on the pulse, going from “I Gotta Feeling” in 2009 to “Don’t You Worry” in this dumpster fire of a year 2022

[jesse “mr. cartoon” machado @underscorejesse]

This is why I always took the bus.

[AP @APPLEJAK27]

You can only save one of them from drowning, who do you choose?

[Brandon Lee Hoop @brandonleehoop]

Forget fintechs. This is actual innovation:

[Andy Kim @AndyKimNJ]

I disagree strongly here. Members of Congress should not be allowed to trade individual stocks. Neither should the President or other senior officials. Americans are losing trust in government and we need to show we serve the people, not our personal/political self-interest.

[AP @APPLEJAK27]

I truly look forward to meeting someone someday who decided to purchase their Nissan Frontier pickup truck because of a commercial starring Brie Larson

[AP @APPLEJAK27]

Why is there not such a thing as grassing in soccer #icing

[Alyssa Limperis @alyssalimp]

cheers to whoever invented stuffing. they were in their kitchen just like fuck it, "bread but wet." legend

[AP @APPLEJAK27]

I got a free car wash today

[AP @APPLEJAK27]

@underscorejesse Possibly your best work IMHO, not to mention the extra meaning this has given it was mom’s ringtone for 10 years

[AP @APPLEJAK27]

@underscorejesse great fit to match your cork hat

[Kicks Under Cost @KicksUnderCost]

Nike Air Max 90 Golf "Cork" now available -> https://t.co/zoF0DSSIu5 ad

[AP @APPLEJAK27]

Huge fan of @Olivia_Rodrigo’s hit song Drivers License. But, real talk, when is the Real ID remix dropping???

[AP @APPLEJAK27]

@underscorejesse Don’t feel bad, it’s probably just because you mastered the art of the subtle flex

[AP @APPLEJAK27]

@underscorejesse

[AP @APPLEJAK27]

Suggestion: instead of posting photos with your vax card, simply post a photo with a @krispykreme donut. Real ones will know.

[Jemele Hill @jemelehill]

253 bills across 43 states have been introduced to restrict voting access, despite little evidence of voter fraud. We have had 7 mass shootings in the last week and only offer thoughts and prayers. In America, Black/brown people voting is considered more dangerous than guns.