@iWomansplainer I found EMDR to be very helpful with all the trauma from my son’s hospitalization and death. I started therapy with one counselor and was with her for several months before deciding it wasn’t a good fit. I’m so glad I switched to someone who is trauma informed.
@iWomansplainer Yes. And these comments telling you why you’re wrong for feeling this way are exhausting. My son died 4 years ago and it is still upsetting to me when people say “I can’t imagine”. People want bereaved parents to constantly think the best of their words even when they’re hurtful.
@hooah_mac@iWomansplainer When you’re a bereaved parent you’re having to make excuses for the hurtful things people say all the time. It’s absolutely exhausting. Why not hear what she’s saying and change what you say, instead of trying to justify the words you use?
@mark_joubert There are, sadly, a lot of us bereaved heart parents. My husband and I would be so happy to connect with you/your wife if that ever feels helpful. I didn’t leave my house for a long time and could barely get out of bed. I think knowing a fellow heart parent might have helped me.
@mark_joubert I haven’t been on twitter for several days and am devastated to read your last few tweets. My son, Augie, died in 2020 from HLHS. We lived in the hospital for his precious 10 month life. After he died my husband and I felt so alone. I know I am a stranger, but you’re not alone.
@iWomansplainer I am so grieved for you. My oldest son died at 10mo from a CHD. When you’re ready, there’s a good group of us on fb: Mommas of Heart Angels ♥️
@MagSandusky@kyleworley Also, I hope this isn’t too weird but I looked at your feed and read about your sweet Lottie. I have 7 mo old girl twins and one is named Lottie. Her older brother, Augie, died at 10 months old. Many similarities to your story. ♥️
@MagSandusky@kyleworley Yes. I resonate with this so deeply. I used to feel deeply inadequate that I couldn’t have an hour quiet time in the morning when I was nursing an baby all night. 😭
@mark_joubert Praying for Gus and you and your wife. I hated ECMO clamp trial and removal days. They were some of the most stressful for me, so I’m praying for peace for you guys today.
@mark_joubert Praying for Gus. My son, Augie, was born with HLHS and was in the hospital for 10 months. He had several open heart surgeries, was on ecmo several times and so much more. All that to say, I know how excruciating this is and I’m pleading with the Lord for Gus’s life.
@racheljwelcher Mine has stayed consistent or increased. I overproduced with both my singletons and now am overproducing for twins. But my overproduction with my singles wouldn’t haven’t covered my twins (if that makes sense). I’m making even more milk now. Bodies are amazing!
@ianharber Oh my goodness, Ian. I had no idea. You seem so natural to me as a husband and father I would never have guessed at the sadness in your past.
@JBsTwoCents I understand this more than most. My oldest son was born with a heart defect and lived his entire 10 months in the hospital. Nothing has shaken my faith more than this. Answers I thought I had before seem so trite (and wrong) now. I don’t have answers for you, but I am so sorry.
The suffering don't need you to explain their pain or wrap a theological bow around it. Not even Job got an explanation from God. What the suffering need is presence, compassion, & mercy. They need prayer & tangible love. Theology matters, but it often silences necessary lament.