a

Gentleman. Patriot.

[commissioner of the cig dynasty @hoosiercommish]

This is the most accurate encapsulation of what Indiana fans have gone through to get the mountaintop, all boiled down into 4 minutes. I am crying.

If hoosiers_edits from TikTok is on here, take a bow. 🥲🥲

[Peachy Keenan @KeenanPeachy]

Biden can still run again in 2028

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

If Harris wins tonight, liberals need to extend an olive branch to conservatives. If Trump wins, then liberals must understand that democracy is dead and that we are now ruled by a junta of Catholic convert closet cases and South African ketamine addicts.

[Austin Berg @Austin__Berg]

NEW: Chicago Teachers Union President Stacy Davis Gates says the union’s contract demands from Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson will cost the city more than $50 billion. ⬇️

“$50 billion dollars and three cents…”

“And so what?”

“That’s audacity.”

For context, total base tax receipts for the *state of Illinois* last year were $50.7 billion.

That includes:
All personal income tax ($23.7B)
All corporate income tax ($5.8B)
All sales tax ($10.4B)
All other state sources ($3.6B)
Transfers in (lottery, gaming, cannabis, etc.) ($3.2B)
Federal sources (base) ($3.8B)

[a @A_A_M]

I was always told this place didn’t exist.

[Nisei Lounge Chicago @NiseiLounge]

IF YOU ARE THE HORRIBLE PERSON who defiled our women’s bathroom yesterday late afternoon bring in cash TODAY for our poor bartender who had to deal with it and we will say no more of this.

Otherwise we’re pulling tape and if we figure out who you were we’re tweeting it. #JFC

[Dan Amira @DanAmira]

I decided today that I’m going to see if I can find the restaurant with the highest number of brothers. I am on strike and have nothing better to do with my time. Please join me.

[a @A_A_M]

@JohnnaCrider1 @jasondebolt This level of corporate dick sucking would make Nancy Reagan blush. #throatgoat

[a @A_A_M]

But where do all the inessential oils end up?

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

So embarrassing for good guys with a gun. They are absolutely getting their asses kicked by bad guys with a gun.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Entire U.S. Police Force Flees Country After Hearing Gunman Inside Nation https://t.co/zknaoDPclG

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Tearful Uvalde Residents Thank Police For Protecting Parking Lot From Gunman https://t.co/nngdJBrsN1

[7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000]

Big Cup Theory was the most important thing I learned in college. A roommate of mine my 5th year told me about it. Drinks, especially water, taste better out of BIG cups. Big Cups should be plastic and from either a sporting event or a movie but brought home for use as a Big Cup

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

Let them make the call!

[Eric Topol @EricTopol]

Besides vaccination and mitigation, rapid home antigen tests would be of enormous value to help fend off the B.1.1.7 strain impact. But the @US_FDA has done nothing to make a reality.
Posted Jan 5th
https://t.co/HIaDQkzrOn

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Controversial Puppy Bowl Star Shits During National Anthem https://t.co/6TA4bzfQZ9

[DJ Judd @DJJudd]

Rep Madison Cawthorn, opposing impeachment, encourages colleagues to "put aside partisan politicking."

Cawthorn's first tweet as an elected official: https://t.co/ayeuDLWhKA