Allison

[Allison @A_Ry17]

FaceTiming w my mom while she’s at work:
Her friends in the background: “oh, is that ur daughter? Is this the smart one or the pretty one”
My mom, nervously: “haha what, they’re both smart AND pretty” *whispers to the side* this is the smart one

[Allison @A_Ry17]

@GovParsonMO Missouri should not commit the irreparable injustice of executing an innocent person. There is overwhelming evidence that Marcellus Williams trial was constitutionally unfair. Do not execute him!

[Allison @A_Ry17]

@SigmaAldrich These would simply sustain the remainder of my PhD @sethtoland17 #labchocolatecontest
@SigmaAldrich #sigmaaldrichchocolate

[Allison @A_Ry17]

@SigmaAldrich @sethtoland17

[Allison @A_Ry17]

The minute Apple starts including how many (1) alarms you set each morning and (2) how many times you hit snooze in the weekly screen report we are dunnnfor

[Allison @A_Ry17]

People who flex on getting enough protein from their diet, I get it, you’re better than me!!!

[Allison @A_Ry17]

Me to me
I dare you to start and finish one single task in one go without getting distracted

[Allison @A_Ry17]

Women on the internet are cracking eggs on their boyfriends foreheads and it’s making me laugh

[Allison @A_Ry17]

@TimCarroll5 Tim we are all 25

[Allison @A_Ry17]

Submerge my body in a hot tub of coffee is on my bucket list

[Allison @A_Ry17]

Me, every time a new song comes on, on the playlist that I curated #ShitThatIsFresh

[Allison @A_Ry17]

Capital one is such a pick me girl “please confirm your recent purchase” babe stop lol you look desperate

[Allison @A_Ry17]

@Steph_Steffen 😂

[Allison @A_Ry17]

@DehliaP Dehlia, you’re my hero #nopunintended

[Allison @A_Ry17]

My Yiayia is telling me what year she bought furniture and decor and for how much and from where

[Allison @A_Ry17]

You’re either a person who would go into space and possibly never come home simply because you’re curious or you’re not*

*normal

[Allison @A_Ry17]

Trader Joe’s earl grey is the la croix of earl grey ☹️

[Allison @A_Ry17]

You guys think Taylor swift gets wedgies on stage? If so, you think she picks em or muscles through?

[Allison @A_Ry17]

Am I being productive or am I just actively avoiding one very specific task that should have already been completed. who could say.

[Allison @A_Ry17]

Kind of need phoebe wallers bridge to go through something so we can have fleabag 3

[Allison @A_Ry17]

Diet Coke first thing is the morning ppl are scary