mae

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

IM HAVING AN EXITS PENCIL CRISIS ‼️‼️‼️

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

I watched a softball game by myself today!!
(I had to call my mom first to encourage me, my hands were sweaty the whole time, I stood beside the bleachers bc I was too scared to look for a seat, then left after the first inning to go home and make chicken bc I am socially inept)

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

I just KNOW I’m my therapist’s favourite, she definitely looks forward to our little Tuesday afternoon Kiki

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

My roommate and I just catching up:

Me: — yea so they want to be a serial entrepreneur
Her: he should get into the other serial business….
Me: Murder?
Her: …. Nesquik

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

Sometimes I look at one of those really pretty sunsets, like with the sky on fire; orange and pink clouds, so vibrant.
And I just think,
“I want to eat it”
#forbiddencottencandygetinmymouth

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

Really craving a slice of uranium cake rn 😋😋

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

This is me rn if you even cared

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

Listening to Work Bitch on repeat to remember why I’m even participating in exam season

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

There is nothing more humiliating than someone eating take out alone and realizing that they have no napkin so they use the receipt
#itwasmeiusedthereceipt

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

My mom: what’s that glass thing you use to see the microwave?
Me: a microscope slide?
Mom: yea that

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

Please do not lean on me, I’m unstable

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

@majosprivate just told me that watch me whip casually played at a party. What if this is the new cha cha slide

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

It’s the year 1423. I surprise you with a bouquet of wild cauliflower I found.

“Happy Valentine’s Day my love”

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

I check @PokemonGoApp for weather updates like an adult

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

Me:
My roommate: oh my goddd you CANNOT just fart on peoples pillows!

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

I’m using this moment in time to say that I freaking love cereal. Thank you.

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

Just trying the new iOS update

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

I love having different convos with the same person on text, Snapchat, and Instagram at the same time without acknowledging the other convos. It’s like I have 3 friends

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

When people say “that’s ACTUALLY cool” or “that’s ACTUALLY funny” I get suspicious like why are you reassuring me that you ACTUALLY find me funny or cool

[mae @Absolute_Maehem]

This is a $70k cheese grater