Absolutely Sam Raimi

Absolutely not Sam Raimi, world-famous movie-maestro and creator of The-Spider-Men™! For maximum effect, read in an Ed Wynn voice.

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

@spunXtain Anyone who wants to meet me better bring their Game Boys with them because I only talk to people who can beat me at Mario Cart. WARNING ALERT! The only person who has EVER beat me was my brother Ted, but I don't play him anymore. Vroom!

P.S. I GET TO PLAY AS SHY-GUY.

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

@Animated_Antic PLEASE BE AWARE! I will _NOT_ be working on this new Holly-wood blockbuster while the Holly-wood Strike is happening! My brother Ted told me that if I make a movie now, the big, inflatable rat outside the movie studio will EAT ME ALIVE! And I DO NOT want that to happen, please!

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

@Animated_Antic I would like to apologize for this film! Although the science in "Can't Dance Cats" was accurate back when I originally wrote and directed it, modern technology _HAS_ made it possible for cats to can dance! I will soon be working on a sequel entitled "Please Do Dance, Cats!"

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

P.S. My brother Ted tried to sneak some jokes into the script, but I slapped the pencil out of his hand and told him NO! I am determined to make this the grimmest, darkest, gooiest, most serious movie about Goo-Monsters fighting each other EVER!

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

AGREED! And here's some EXCLUSIVE HOLLY-WOOD INSIDER NEWS! For my upcoming directorial debut, Topher Gopher and Ed Hardy will meet through the MAGIC OF THE MAXI-VERSE and battle to find who is the GOOIEST Goo-Monster! Get ready for Vemon III: Too Goo 4 U! Coming Summer 2025!

[Uncensored🎙️ @ILoveAyyeZee]

Can we get @AbsolutelyRaimi to direct these films. They’re made to be dark. Not funny. @Disney @Sony

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

OK! I finally found a parking space! Now I gotta just run into the theater! Hopefully I arrive just in time to pick up MY HOLLYWOOD REWARD FOR BEST MOVIE MAKER!

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

(Sorry, I gotta go. I DID write that tweet while I was driiving, and now my borther Ted is yelling at me to stop..)

ITS SO BUSY HERE''

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

I showed up at THE HOLLYWOOD AWARDS a little late, and their parking lot was COMPLETELY FULL. I thought I saw a guy backing out, but he was just straightening out his car. Now I've been driving around for like 45 minutes looking for a place to park. It's really busy here tonight!

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

(Don't worry...I tweeted this while stopped at a stop light. You shouldn't post tweets while you're driving.)

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

@SpecificAaron @thefamouspaul @TheMicroScoop @WhimsicalPhil @st_weightloss You can call me Rami, or you can call me Raimi, but don't ever call me "late for dinner!"

My brother Ted called me that once, and I got so cranky that I tickled him and tickled him so much that he peed his pants! Then I felt really bad about it. I'll never tickle people again!

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

Free Video-Game Lovers Rejoice! I've successfully hacked into the Epic Steam Store and reduced the price of the hit video-game, Sam Raimi's Evil Dead: The Official Game of the Movie, down to ZERO DOLLARS AND ZERO CENTS! Please download before the Video-Police log on to fix it!

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

@Horror31 @UniversalPics @RealSamRaimi @SamRaimiUpdates @tedraimi @GroovyBruce @Liamjohnneeson_ Here's a MOVIETIME FUN-FACT straight from the HOLLY-WOOD VAULTS!

The original title for Darkman was Squish-Face: The Mysterious Masked Man! It was changed at the last minute because movie poster artists charge by the letter, so a shorter name was needed to fit the budget!

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

Two people agree! I KNEW IT!!!

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

When I see Al Pachinko, I can only remember how he and Marlo Brando were dyno-mite (as always!) in my directorial debut, the brilliant Goodfellows!

"You can't handle my truth!" I get goose-pimples every time! Like and subscribe if you agree!!!

[🌹One Less Lonely Girl🌹 @QandAvenue]

What’s the first movie that comes to mind when you see Al Pacino?

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

THE RUMOURS ARE TRUE!!! My latest directorial debut, Mr. Mystery and the Strange World of the Many-Verse is NOW available to "Net-Flicks and Chill" on the Disney Channel! So, fry up some Pizza Balls, Log-On, and see if YOU can solve the mystery for yourself!

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

I hope everyone has been enjoying my new movie, Mr. Strange and the Magical Mystery Verse! I'd love to go see it again this weekend, but I need to finish signing and sending out the paychecks for all the people who helped make the movie! Hoo-boy, it's an awful lot of people!

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

Besides, no-one complained when I made my two insect-themed movies, Antz-Man starring Woodsy Allen and The Bugs Man starring Kevin Spaceface. Or my two volcano-themed movies, Coast Toasters starring a Volcano and Pike's Peak starring a Volcano.

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

For some reason, movie-bloggers and internet hucksters are trying to create a rivalry between my two directorial debuts, Mr. Strange in the Many Mad-Houses and Everyone, Everytime, All the Time just because they both feature multiple magical lands. This is, of course, nonsense!

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

Please don't pit movies against each other in battle! This isn't the WFW! Go see EVERY MOVIE to become a TRUE HOLLY-WOOD EXPERT! Plus, more ticket sales means I get to make MORE MOVIES!

[Absolutely Sam Raimi @AbsolutelyRaimi]

@cheapcheapo No, Sam!! I have a job making block-buster movies for HOLLY-WOOD!