Scared'n'Lonely

Asexual (Ace). Ehlers Danlos Syndrome/Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder (EDS/HSD). Autistic. They/Them. PTSD.

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@SoSciOnWheels @KathleenWarthen @RebeccaCokley Thank you for your kindness...

I'm definitely working on it... Its so very hard... But I am working on it.

Thank you. ❤️

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@LikeMaryNMartha Yes, absolutely with so many things. It's been pointed out by physio in recent months that I'm scared to do a whole range of movements because I'm scared of the potential for pain.. Even though once I've done the movement there is no pain I'm still terrified to try again.

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@SoSciOnWheels @KathleenWarthen @RebeccaCokley This was a problem I did bring up and I got told 'everyone has their individual crosses to bear, it will never be more than you can manage' etc etc. This while I was also being abused.
Hugely hipocritical and devastating really.

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@KathleenWarthen @RebeccaCokley Yes, this one affected family relationships.
Can't take Communion so you arent actively practicing even if you do everything else. 'Jesus suffered for us, you can manage a little suffering for him'!
Erm nope.
No longer practicing for oh so many reasons.

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@learner_autism 2/2
I don't always know why I don't like something but always felt pressured to explain myself, whether people asked or not. I also don't always know if I like something.
If I want kids to try something I put it on a table and leave it there, I dont comment on it and try it 2/3x.

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@learner_autism One thing for me is that if i think I'm being watched trying something new I probably won't try it. I might try to sneak something new away to try in private. The pressure of reacting appropriately or not letting people down, or being able to even express if I like it or not. 1/2

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@RevDaniel I was told all this... Was a final straw for me lost faith in the church.

You "need more faith...need to pray more...are going to hell...we're afraid for your soul..."

I had great faith, I prayed, I begged, I wrote out prayers and studied. Didn't stop the abuse.
Therapy helped.

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@AutieBuilder @NeuroRebel This for me too. Taken myself off things many times because of side effects they told me didn't exist... Side effects always cleared up off the medications.

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@asexualACES @asexuality I mean mostly people decided because 'it's not real' and it's a 'non-identity' they could come out for me to anyone and everyone... And so they did.
And then people laughed and told me I am 'gay but refuse to except it'.. Lots of rude comments too from people I'd never have told.

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@whispy_witch @SNeurotypicals Once I read the additional notes I can answer easy.
Hate creams/lotions anything on my face. It makes me feel like I'm suffocating or something... No idea why.
(aside, took me ages to get used to glasses & still don't like them yrs later, cloth masks are OK now took a few months)

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@asexuality I have one, haven't worn it in a long while... Must root it out (though I fear it's 'locked down' in another house outside the allowed radius). But it was purely for me, to feel like I wasn't so alone...so even having it in a box and rarely wearing it is enough most of the time.

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@ratlennon @AlexSpectrum128 I remember answering, an extremely anti abortion (in my face wouldn't leave me alone), that with "I wish! my life would definitely have been a lot easier if I didn't have to live it, as a child who was poor, abused, and born because 'catholic'" shut them up for a bit...

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

This is very true... And used against me for almost every diagnosis. 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@A_Silent_Child Trans masc people are the best at all times. 😊

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@A_Silent_Child Trans men rock and roll. 😂

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@A_Silent_Child I love trans femme people because they love me so much more.

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@A_Silent_Child Trans women are the most important. 😅😊

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@A_Silent_Child Non binary people are great because they are based on the previous email.

No idea 😂🤷‍♀️

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

@A_Silent_Child I am nonbinary and I love you so much.

[Scared'n'Lonely @AceZebraROI]

Me too. Everything is written down, clear to see... But never connected... Multiple dx at this point. Its so distressing to feel no one even tried...Instead everyone told me I was being lazy and complaining about nothing.

Even more distressing to know it still happens every day.

[🆘 LittleMort #NoJusticeNoPeace 🆘 @LittleSmeee]

@ehlersdanlosuk I lost so much time not knowing what was wrong with me 😔 Almost all of those signs were present when I was a child and continued into adulthood.

#KnowledgeIsPower ✌🏻