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a-man-DUH
@Acoyle33
I'm about to go 3 months with no iPhone and no alcohol. Like a fucking barbarian. Only no fucking either. Fuck.
everywhere you arent
Joined June 2009
0
Following
1.1K
Followers
1.4K
Posts
a-man-DUH
@Acoyle33
almost 14 years ago
My cunt car is going to cost me 5 grand to repair. I could leave her untouched but she's my cunt so I have to take care of her.
a-man-DUH
@Acoyle33
almost 14 years ago
I used a real map and rode the train today in case anyone wants to know what living in 1869 was like.
a-man-DUH
@Acoyle33
almost 14 years ago
I'm dehydrated and hungry, so it seems like a perfect time for beer.
a-man-DUH
@Acoyle33
almost 14 years ago
How long does it take to sharpen a broom stick into a spear? This is important. I need to know now.
Who to follow
neptunian
@kamiekaymee
Mother of all poltergeists.
Crystal Moon
@CrystalMoonable
Hugh Morris
@Mirth_Quake
It's not the mentality, it's the men totally.
a-man-DUH
@Acoyle33
almost 14 years ago
A lotta people annoyed me this morning so I spent the afternoon chumming the Pacific Ocean with body parts.
Acoyle33
retweeted
1Happytwit
@1Happytwit
almost 14 years ago
You should be able to tell by the tampons, pain killers & kitchen knife in my basket, I really don't have the patience for a price check.
Acoyle33
retweeted
Chopper
@chopper4jk
almost 14 years ago
You don’t always have to hold your head up high, sometimes waist level is all they want.
a-man-DUH
@Acoyle33
almost 14 years ago
My heart cries out for you everyday but my brain can't stand the sound of your name.
Acoyle33
retweeted
Rock
@TheMichaelRock
almost 14 years ago
Women need some weird things to masturbate. Like toys, privacy, a reason. Y'all are fucking odd.
a-man-DUH
@Acoyle33
almost 14 years ago
Mom texted me in the middle of my PBandJ, so now I have to spend my Friday night licking Peanut Butter off my phone.
Acoyle33
retweeted
@sshole
@Lisa_Laughs_
almost 14 years ago
When my kids ask what a word means, I tell them to bring me a dictionary. Then I smack them with it, and tell them to Google that shit.
Acoyle33
retweeted
Sly
@slyoung5
about 15 years ago
I think opinions are a lot like orgasms. Mine will always be more important and I don't give a flying fuck if you have one.
a-man-DUH
@Acoyle33
almost 14 years ago
I'm so close to exploding at everyone my arteries might as well be pumping kerosene.
Acoyle33
retweeted
Chrisanna4real
@chrisanna4real
over 14 years ago
Sure, crazy women are the best fucks, but so is a woman who is crazy about you.
Acoyle33
retweeted
Rusty
@PeaceInTruth1
almost 14 years ago
You won't be able to talk after I give you multiple sarcasms.
a-man-DUH
@Acoyle33
almost 14 years ago
Stalking would be so much easier if my iPhone had a binoculars app.
Acoyle33
retweeted
Chrisanna4real
@chrisanna4real
almost 14 years ago
If she can work a room and still make you feel like your the only man in it, she's a keeper.
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