Adam Gilbert

good stuff

[Adam Gilbert @AdamGilbert__]

the other toes that didn’t get stubbed

[TheBlaze @theblaze]

Barack Obama: "I am tired of being divided! I want friendship and neighborliness!"

[Adam Gilbert @AdamGilbert__]

@mikerecine thank you! i love pesto

[Adam Gilbert @AdamGilbert__]

I love pesto pasta. From a distance it looks like I’m taking really good care of myself

[Adam Gilbert @AdamGilbert__]

@RHarlandSmith ah ok makes more sense why he didn’t get blown away

[Adam Gilbert @AdamGilbert__]

I’m Doctor Samuel Loomis. I have a PHD in neuroscience and I’ve worked with mental patients for 20 years. You have a demon in your town. he’s the fucking devil.

[Adam Gilbert @AdamGilbert__]

@ParanormalPerv incredible writing to have this presumably distinguished doctor be the voice of reason and correct that michael is evil incarnate. donald pleasance sells every second of it too. John Carpenter is untouchable

[Adam Gilbert @AdamGilbert__]

@denimchicken_7 we’re gonna put him on a bus with two sleepy guards at about 2 in the morning. should be good

[Adam Gilbert @AdamGilbert__]

@hafeel_asraf my thoughts exactly!

[Adam Gilbert @AdamGilbert__]

@Steeele_ lmao this one is way better

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

Cornel West: Now Brother Barney is purple AND green. And even Brother Barney knows class struggle is not a struggle BETWEEN classes, but rather a struggle to eliminate class altogether.

Norm Finklestein: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You would call this reptilian imbecile your brother?

[Sam Saulsbury @SamuelSaulsbury]

Drake in 2049 after a woman named Poodie Milk goes viral: 62 years young but i still smile, plus I got Poodie Milk on speed dial

[Soulja Boy @souljaboy]

family guy stupid lol Peter dumb lol

[gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi]

The internet is so fickle bc Kareem creates the environment for a beautiful moment and a bunch of pricks on here want to use it to dunk on him. People didn’t say “omg Norm really dominated Conan on that one.” Just say cool, what a great moment. Jesus fucking Christ

[Jane Altoids @staticbluebat]

Nathan: Do you see why this is funny?

Elizabeth: Yeah he turned himself into a pickle, funniest shit i've ever seen

[Adam Gilbert @AdamGilbert__]

this is how it feels to try a new joke

[dam @beachboydam]

How it feels

[James Urbaniak @JamesUrbaniak]

NATHAN FIELDER: This is one of the most famous comedy sketches of the last 30 years.
*Plays SNL More Cowbell sketch*
FIELDER: Now what was funny about that?
*Pause*
BERNIE MADOFF: They're a rock band.
FIELDER: Yes but what's the joke.
MADOFF: They have long hair, I don't know.

[garuka @ilygaruka]

punching houdini in the gut so hard he dies probably felt amazing. lets see you escape this you fucking freak

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

ELIZABETH HOLMES: of course it worked. the lights turned on. it was on the cloud

NATHAN FIELDER: ok. but you know what feelings are, right? like you have them?

WEIRD COCAINE HUSBAND: [watching youtube at 2x speed] babe it says here the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

[k @Kaartikkkkk]

POV: You're losing an argument but they mispronounce a word