Dan McFarland

Metal Zone into a 10w Crate. iykyk.

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

Just laying here makin sweat angels on the bed.

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

Hey did you guys hear Trump just got his ear pierced on the gay ear?

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

Old McDonald had a farm. Old McFarland doesn’t have SHIT.

[Catestrophe @catestrophey]

The chances of the Queen being reincarnated as one of Nick Cannon's upcoming babies are low. But not zero.

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

UK: God save the Queen!
God: *gets distracted*
Queen: *dies*
God: DAMMIT.

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

*earnestly goes to camp*

*earnestly saves christmas*

*earnestly goes to jail*

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

🎶 🎺🎺🎺🎺 🎶
🎶 I’m walkin’ on eggshells! 🎶
🎶 Whoa-oh! 🎶
🎶 And don’t it feel good! 🎶
🎶 🎺🎺🎺🎺 🎶

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

Nick Cannon’s dick is like a tshirt cannon for babies.

[big boy online @idonotbleed]

hey there delilah pls send pics of ass and titty

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

Are 24-inch pythons running wild on you? Contact a physician, you could be experiencing symptoms of Hulkamania.

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

POP QUIZ HOT SHOT.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO FOR DINNER, I’M HUNGRY.

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

I promise you, it’s for all the worst reasons.

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

The craziest scene in #MultiverseOfMadness is when Scarlet Witch covers Wong’s dick in bees.

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

Not every little guy is David, and he doesn’t always win. The Goliaths don’t usually get knocked down by the Davids.

Makes a great story though, doesn’t it?

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

Hi, we’re John Cena & the Incredible Hulk, and we’re here today on behalf of indestructible jean shorts.

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

“The sky’s the limit!”

-motivational poster for flat-eathers

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

If I die someplace that isn’t air conditioned I’m gonna be really pissed.

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

My Grandma used to subscribe to milk.

[Dan McFarland @AdventuresOfDan]

You gotta hit the ground moseying!

-motivational poster for cowboys

[caitlin @carboncaitlin]

Greek alphabet out here having an absolute blinder of a year making a comeback after a millennia and a half

[Jenna SaysQuoi @jennasaysquoi]

Trolling the IRS by making very little money.