The Official Church of Paul Rudd

[The Official Church of Paul Rudd @AgnewRylee]

How my cousin introduces me to her friends, "This is rylee, she loves Martyn. Martyn is a dog"

[The Official Church of Paul Rudd @AgnewRylee]

There's no reason to ever lie to me bc I get it. I understand. I will put myself in your shoes and not pass judgment bc we're only human

[Dan Price @DanPriceSeattle]

When possible, buy from a small business instead of Amazon

[Dan Price @DanPriceSeattle]

Barrel of oil
Week ago: $128
Now: $99

Gallon of gas
Week ago: $4.17
Now: $4.32

Oil company profits are at 7-year highs, they get $180 billion a year in government subsidies and they're issuing $88 billion in buybacks/dividends this year.

Do the math.

[Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders]

Why is the price of oil LOWER today than it was in 2014 while the average price for a gallon of gas nationwide is 80 cents a gallon HIGHER than it was eight years ago? Answer: Corporate greed. Now is no time for profiteering. Now is the time for a windfall profits tax.

[Dan Price @DanPriceSeattle]

For the last month I've been clicking on every headline with the word "inflation" in it and scrolling through to see how many mention record corporate profits.

Just about none of them do.

Seems like a piece of information that would be relevant, but what do I know

[Kyle Griffin @kylegriffin1]

Democratic Rep. Vicente Gonzalez has introduced H.R. 6708, the Student Loan Relief Bill, that would allow the Secretary of Education to forgive up to $25,000 in federal student loans for borrowers.

[Qasim Rashid, Esq. @QasimRashid]

Chipotle: 26% profit increase. Raising prices.

Starbucks: 31% profit increase. Raising prices.

McDonalds: 59% profit increase. Raising prices.

Shell/Mobile/BP: 60% profit increase. Raising prices.

There's not a labor shortage.
This isn't inflation.
It is 100% corporate greed.

[Dan Price @DanPriceSeattle]

companies will be like "I simply can NOT find any workers" and then post an ad for an entry-level position requiring 5 years experience.

It used to be the norm that companies would train entry-level workers. Now they pass off that cost onto someone else and call workers lazy.

[Innocence Project @innocence]

Urge Florida to fix its compensation law and pass House Bill 241 and Senate Bill 526: https://t.co/FYH7N8fOOr

[JP @jpbrammer]

excited that I get to drink coffee tomorrow. I do every day and tomorrow will be no different

[The Official Church of Paul Rudd @AgnewRylee]

@NatatalieEve You make boobies, boobies is art. You artist

[Carmen Lagala @CarmenLagala]

Women: I have a stalker, he threatened to kill me.

Police: Cool, can you call us when he actually does that?

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

People say “you can’t defund the police” like Women who listen to true crime podcasts couldn’t replace the entire police force

[The Official Church of Paul Rudd @AgnewRylee]

The grow lights stay on during sex

[The Official Church of Paul Rudd @AgnewRylee]

I couldn’t find the power cable for my record player but I had a laptop charger that was the same size— I didn’t know my turntable would catch on Ⓕⓘⓡⓔ

[The Official Church of Paul Rudd @AgnewRylee]

Do you guys wanna go play popcorn on the trampoline?

[The Official Church of Paul Rudd @AgnewRylee]

Simping for senator Cory Booker 😩

[The Official Church of Paul Rudd @AgnewRylee]

AT FIRST I WAS LIKE “mmm bidet enema” AS A JOKE, BUT GUYS... I DONT THINK ITS A JOKE ANYMORE @hellotushy