Alan Doty

we considered ourselves a powerful culture.

[Ken Cheng @kenchengcomedy]

banks in 1929: well look at how many people want to visit our banks right now

[Mosquito Capital @MosquitoCapital]

24) World Cup. It is *the* defining event. We used to have watch parties for the traffic charts. The amount of traffic your site gets in one week is mind-blowing. It's in huge bursts. It tests *every* system you have to its limits. If one breaks, hope it doesn't cascade. It will.

[Mosquito Capital @MosquitoCapital]

18) GDPR. You're found in violation. It took a team of 100s of engineers, lawyers, policy experts, designers, and managers months of "hardcore engineering" to be in compliance in the first place. Can you get back? I assure you, not doing so will cost more than an org's headcount.

[Mosquito Capital @MosquitoCapital]

10) The system you use to *find other systems* internally goes down. None of your systems can talk to each other. The site, and all your tools, immediately fail. The tools you need to revert the breaking change are all FUCKED. Can you figure this one out with a skeleton team?

[Mosquito Capital @MosquitoCapital]

4) Bad code push takes the site down *in a way that also fucks up the ability to push new code*. This is the absolute nightmare scenario for teams like mine. When something like this happens, it's all hands on deck. Without deep systems understanding, you might never get it back.

[Mosquito Capital @MosquitoCapital]

1) Random hard drive fills up. You have no idea how common it is for a single hosed box to cause cascading failures across systems, even well-engineered fault-tolerant ones with active maintenance. Where's the box? What's filling it up? Who will figure that out?

[Alan Doty @AlanDoty]

just popping back on to watch the dumpster fire, download my archive and tell the Space Karen also known as @elonmusk to fuck off.

[Alan Doty @AlanDoty]

the devil works hard, but Kenny at #Sweetwater works harder.

CC @SweetwaterSound

[Alan Doty @AlanDoty]

@swin24 Even more so now.

[Alan Doty @AlanDoty]

dinosaur eats man (but NOT Jeff Goldblum you leave him alone)

[Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go]

Please tell me why you like Jurassic Park so we can do that more

[Alan Doty @AlanDoty]

my jarring moment was the local McAlister’s posting a greyscale 8x11 ft. a crying bald eagle juxtaposed on the WTC…next to their sanitary inspection grade

[Brianna Wu @BriannaWu]

I was part of that 10 percent. It was a maddening time, because the media and both parties were rushing us to war without explaining how we’d win the peace.

It was fairly obvious we were going into a quagmire.

[Alan Doty @AlanDoty]

tell me you’re Louis XVI without telling me you’re Louis XVI

[Alan Doty @AlanDoty]

just in a perpetual state of losing and rebuying @ParkerPens IM Rollerballs until I die

[Alan Doty @AlanDoty]

@SamGrittner

[Alan Doty @AlanDoty]

my beer can had @SUEtheTrex on it!

[Cassie Carlson @CassieCarlsonTV]

WGC-FedEx St. Jude starter pack.

[Alan Doty @AlanDoty]

forgetting how to play it cool since 1988

[Alan Doty @AlanDoty]

tell me you don’t want to deal with your homeless problem without telling me you don’t want to deal with your homeless problem

[Read Raising Expectations (and Raising Hell) @JPHilllllll]

LA has just made it illegal to be homeless. Which means that if you fall deep enough into poverty you'll be locked up, not helped out. What a sick society this is.

[Alan Doty @AlanDoty]

just let me down, easy.