Alan Fessenden

Writer, Actor, Comedian, and Shower Singer living in NYC

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

@albomike Even the Ushers know you’re not supposed to return after intermission. “If you’re coming back, intermission is 20 minutes”

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

@NufcedKevin @RepMTG @RepMaryMiller @RepJeffDuncan @RepBobGood @RepRalphNorman @RepMattGaetz @RepTonyGonzales @RepClayHiggins @RepBurgessOwens @RepTenney @Rep_Clyde @RepHarshbarger @Lancegooden Where can I order this album? Or is it only found in the dollar bins? Of course the GOOP loves her, she’s singing the hits.

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

@PandaBearFriend @lai_lette @Starbucks She is moving on. But ok.

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

@MikkaUwwU @lai_lette @Starbucks She said she’s trying to get coverage. A good manager would assist in getting coverage. She’s giving them plenty of time. Also, I think they’re going to need coverage in about 2 weeks. Hopefully they figure that out.

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

@perezorperez @lai_lette @Starbucks You can’t stop people from being upset. But you can quit a job that thinks they’re more important than family.

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

@LeilaniMunter I’m loving this energy!

[Rep. Joanna McClinton @RepMcClinton]

Here we go again!!! As @PAHouseDems fight to ensure you have a VOICE in Harrisburg & protect women's lives + their reproductive rights, the majority party is once again SILENCING US!!! And when they silence us, they’re silencing you & MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ACROSS PENNSYLVANIA!!!

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

This is basically my life now

[Paul F. Tompkins @PFTompkins]

Years ago I tried to explain this to a younger friend and their response was, rightfully, “Huh”

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

Spoke to a member of @SenGillibrand’s staff this morning and informed them that the House had passed the Women’s Health Protection Act of 2021 and we are waiting for the Senate to pass and codify Roe into Law. This was NEWS to the staffer as it was to me earlier this morning.

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

@Spent_sir @PFTompkins Sometimes I use a paper towel to stop the bleeding even though eventually I’m going to go see a doctor for stitches. I just feel like I should address the bleeding even if I’m not a trained professional. #waitbeforeyoulegislate #waitforit

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

@Danielaltiere @anvanderstraet1 @michaelianblack I hope that 2 year old learned something.

[LaTosha Brown @MsLaToshaBrown]

This is ILLEGAL! #Georgia

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

@msLAS A devastating read…

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

@maxheadroomesq @rgay I don’t know, his girlfriend in Canada says she has knows his friend. According to him.

[Emo Philips @EmoPhilips]

I don’t know who needs to see this

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

@tookornotook @HamillHimself One actor was even President. Can you imagine? Talk about stepping out of….wait politics affects everyone?!! It seems even an oil extractor feels free to chime in. Oh well. Go ahead and keep trying to dismiss people because of their occupation.

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

For context

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

Guess it’s time to turn donuts into money! #nfd #nonfungibledonuts

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

@IzoldaT They can never be enough checking! lol! So much fun, excited for the next one!

[Alan Fessenden @AlanFessenden]

@TulsiGabbard Annoying