Alanna

I'm a writer and storyteller in Philadelphia. I live in an old house with a handsome man and three weird cats.

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

I'm a woman in my mid-30s, I don't need a special holiday to celebrate fear.

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

@pkelley9 @AlanRMacLeod Awfully snarky of you and discounts the reality of many working mothers who aren’t able to take time away from work to nurse. So happy for you this was an option but with no maternity leave in the US, it’s not always possible for everyone

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

@TeresaG76690316 @AlanRMacLeod Breast feeding may have been easy for you but it is not for many people, and not everyone has ~1800 hours to spend nursing in a year.

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

@rita_rake @MKupperman A cisman in cismale clothing followed me into a women’s bathroom in London when I was 22. No one cared or stopped him. This transwomen fear mongering is bigotry. Cismen don’t need costumes to attack women.

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

@CecilyTynan Ah yes, because root vegetables are traditionally gendered?

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

@SenTedCruz Congratulations on your amazing ability to count! Do the alphabet next!!

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

@WpSchlitz People are risking their lives for some really underwhelming experiences...

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

@WpSchlitz Exactly! Just Staler and Waldorf the heck out these fools. Whoever is left standing is allowed to run for office in the new government

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

I think we’re perhaps just too polite to these fools. Let’s go vaudeville on their asses. When someone holds a press conference to say this nonsense, just heckle them! Don’t give them a platform! Why are we being polite to the men who ruin our country?

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

We call men fragile but that Shapiro dink is so confident, he held a press conference to brag about his sexual inadequacy. Granted he was propped up by his sad wife assuring him it’s supposed to feel like sandpaper, but honestly the problem with men has never been their fragility

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

I just thought I’d tweet for the first time in years to say former Man Show cohost Jimmy Kimmel was always clearly a sexist, racist hack. So congrats for figuring that out, America! You’re having a banner year of finally noticing obviously shitty men.

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

@Dad__House I’m not a dad but I *feel* like a dad to so many. I think I would be a great addition to this program.

[Bud Smith @Bud_Smith]

@kkingparsons Yeah it’s written so well too! I’ve read so many books that try to do what this one does effortlessly. This book reminded me a little bit of Camus. The economy and the power sentence to sentence. Joy Williams vibes. Ottessa Moshefegh feels. But also, it’s own thing—fantastic

[Gabby Sidibe @GabbySidibe]

I sing songs to my cat as if he's gonna grow up and be somebody someday. I sing Dear Theodosia as if he'll go to college and make me proud

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

Pro tip: let everyone know you were deeply uncool in the 90s by blasting Sunny Day Real Estate w/ the windows down on your drive home

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

@fastjohnny Well one of these days maybe I'll take one of them out. With a lawsuit. I'm not trying run anyone over with my car

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

@fastjohnny Actually, now that I think about it, is there some sort of hit out on me?... Are the older men coming for me on purpose?!

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

@fastjohnny Every time I almost get run over, it's an older man in a luxury car. I'll get another chance.

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

@fastjohnny Ha! I was more thinking about the lawsuit 😂

[Alanna @AlannaPajama]

Sometimes I get a new follower & wonder why a stranger cares what I have to say. Then I look at their profile and it makes even less sense.