Alejandro Ortiz Jr

Fan of the 80s. Action movie connoisseur. I have a 401k so that's cool right? Also, I have a German Shepherd. Do not go gentle into that good night

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

@Angry_Staffer You’ll be in a good mood for your daily annual dentist visit! 😂

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

@DallasStars *nods in Spanish*

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

When I wear a Nike hockey tee, no one asks if I play hockey. I’m wearing a Nike lacrosse tee and everyone wants to know where I play/how long I played for. May need to retire this shirt. Lol

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

@DallasStars @budlight My thoughts on this: They won’t even Goal here!

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

@StephGallegosss Costco frozen mango chunks—superior to having to cut your own mangoes.

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

@washingtonpost The world is not chaotic enough? Must you go and toss this in the mix to watch the world burn??

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

@TheEconomist Five books?? In this economy?

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

I know he already said no but @idriselba would’ve made for an absolutely fantastic Bond.

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

@StephGallegosss That’s why you gotta walk in there with “Ya No Puedo Más” vibes

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

@marcorubio Not cool. That taco’s got way more of a backbone.

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

@StephGallegosss You’ve always been able to recall emails—are you saying they made the feature more intuitive??? Game changer.

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

@StephGallegosss That explains why I can’t grow the eff up. Mind blown.

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

@IdleDivinity It starts with us. Be the change you wanna see in the world. There are marginalized folks that don’t have the ability to leave. I’ll be staying put in TX.

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

@StephGallegosss Did they sound like Cogsworth from beauty and the beast?

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

I had just stuffed a cookie in my face when my VP came over to chat with me. Probs set a record for fastest chew speed.

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

@StephGallegosss I say it like that just to be ironic. Am I part of the problem? Lol

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

FUCK.

YOU.

[Alejandro Ortiz Jr @AlejanBroJr]

@StarsCountdown Guess it was a bit widespread. Not surprised for a playoff game. Go Stars.

[Angry Staffer @Angry_Staffer]

Still blown away that Susan Collins called the police over the nicest chalk protest in history