alex

[alex @AlexEll24]

We did it guys. We saved the daylight 🦸‍♀️

[bobby wasabi @bobbyteriyaki]

how tf they get that ketchup in those packets

[Julie Greiner @JulieAbridged]

when I get a Jeopardy question wrong it is because that information doesn’t matter

[Soulja Boy @souljaboy]

Don’t forget to turn your swag on today

[kelly @kelllicopter]

i will only date another man if he treats me as well as the line cooks at my job do. anything less than that is just unacceptable garbage

[Jeff Brown @Illini_Hiker]

Tired of the electoral map? Here is a map of the legality of owning a Kangaroo by state.

[^_^ @Bruhsepheus]

You ever just say fuck it and drink in moderation

[bobby wasabi @bobbyteriyaki]

moderator: please say climate change is real

trump:

[alex @AlexEll24]

just copped some new swag cant wait to show it off

[thomas @iucipur]

ah yes

[alex @AlexEll24]

moving to colorado in a month i can’t wait to get a nose ring

[alex @AlexEll24]

i’m eating key lime pie for dinner how does that make you feel

[^_^ @Bruhsepheus]

These motherfuckers getting gas station hotdogs in a global pandemic!

[Heinz US @HeinzTweets]

To each, your own Heinz Ketchup.