Things the recovery industry will not tell you:
1. The drug worked. That is why people use it. Not weakness. Not moral failure.
A neurological event so complete and persuasive that any honest account of addiction has to start there.
The problem is not that the drug fails. The problem is that what it does is unrepeatable, and you will burn your entire life to the ground trying to get back to a place that no longer exists.
2. Shame is not guilt. Guilt says I did something bad. Shame says I am something bad. Guilt is appropriate. Shame is a cell with no windows. Most people use the words interchangeably. That mistake is lethal.
3. You cannot shame someone who has already named the thing you are holding over them. Say it first. Say it in plain light. The weapon drops.
4. Guilt can coexist with self-respect. Shame cannot. You can hold the damage and the dignity at the same time. I know because I live there.
5. Radical honesty does not give you back who you were. It hands you the clean slate of who you always wanted to be. The mask comes off. The cartoon other people drew of you stays on the page.
6. Nobody gets clean on a winning streak.
7. You have to be almost self-delusional in your forgiveness of yourself. (Go watch Chase Hughes)
8. The greatest sin was not the chaos. It was the absence. Being unavailable to the people who needed you.
9. Sustainable recovery starts with one thing: honesty with yourself. If you love an addict and want to help, that is the only door in.
10. I am only an expert on my recovery. Nobody is an expert on anyone else’s.
I’ve never seen such hate and vitriol for two people grieving the loss of their unborn child and making an impossible decision.
The last 24 hours have exposed a side of humanity that is deeply disturbing. Being called “murderous pieces of shit, evil, compared to Hitler” and receiving NON-STOP DEATH THREATS.
Seeing my 6-year old dog with Stage 4 Kidney Disease be used as a weapon, manipulating my words and intent in a tweet or saying we’ll regret this decision forever and must repent to God is absolute insanity.
If you ever wanted to marvel at the depravity of people online, just check the replies on my latest tweet. It’s a shit-show of epic proportions. This is reflective of the current world and landscape we’re all living in.
What’s more troubling is a lot of these people use God or Jesus as their justification for threatening us and wanting to cast us into Hell…seems pretty hypocritical.
So many saying they would’ve kept the child, put it up for adoption or are suddenly ready to adopt a down syndrome child, that’s great! You can do all those things. However, many of the people throwing stones don’t even have children, let alone one with a condition and most likely will never do the things they say they’re going to do.
There has been some heinous shit said about my wife and I on some extremely large accounts…It baffles me that there are such trashy-ass people who have significant followings. If you can’t contribute anything meaningful to the conversation aside from insults then just don’t post.
On the other hand, there has been tremendous stories of people who kept their Down Syndrome baby and that’s awesome! Very courageous and they do look very happy! That is your choice and I support it. This was ours and we can do that. It’s very easy to accept the differences between us when it has no actual bearing on your life.
What shocked me most of all was that this story has become mainstream news…A couple’s abortion is suddenly newsworthy in 2026…?
There are over 1,000,000 abortions every single year for a myriad of reasons, this is happening on a DAILY BASIS and is the most common outcome for Trisomy 21, yet this one blows up and people are surprised…?
The reason this blew up is quite simple: IT’S BECAUSE NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT.
I can’t blame people for not talking about these vulnerable experiences publicly because you see the disgusting backlash that ensues. It’s very divisive. Luckily, after 20 years on the Internet, this is par the course for me taking on the crazies, so I’m glad I can help further the conversation.
That’s exactly why I wanted to share this story. People still need to see vulnerability and hear the raw truth. There is real suffering going on and it is being done in silence and fear.
So many mothers have reached out privately commending us on our bravery to speak truthfully about this topic and we really appreciate that support! We want you to feel less alone in this and less ashamed.
There has never been a more important time to speak up and out about the things that matter. Do not let the vocal minority stop you from sharing your truth.
To those who have been affected by this or are confronted with a similar situation in the future, we have your back and please feel free to reach out. I’m sure this will follow us awhile especially when we try for a kid again in the near future.
(CONTINUED)
This is why people say it’s murder. This is why there’s so much passion around this topic.
People like this will kill an innocent child just because they don’t think they’ll like it anymore.
This week, my wife and I made the very difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy due to Trisomy 21.
The choice was not made lightly. We really appreciate all of the personal stories that you guys shared with us, especially the unconditional support we received from fans with no matter what we decided.
I know some of you may be very disappointed to hear this news. We are devastated. This has been extremely traumatic for both of us, especially Ashley.
She underwent the procedure earlier this week and is on the mend. Thankfully, everything went smoothly, but emotionally we are drained.
Trisomy 21, also known as Down Syndrome, is caused by an extra chromosome. It is caused by an error in cell division, like a glitch. The odds of a baby having it is 1 in 1000.
When I first confronted this news, I was shocked but optimistic. If they’re a little slow intellectually, then we’ll make it work. I signed on to be a parent, come what may…but I just didn’t fully understand what Down Syndrome entailed.
Once we made it public, it became clear that MOST people don’t know what Down Syndrome entails (and no, it’s not the same as Autism):
50% of babies with DS have heart defects. 75% will have hearing challenges. Over 50% will have vision problems. Impaired immune function, developmental disabilities, learning disabilities, delayed physical development, poor muscle tone, structural issues with face, decreased lifespan, etc…Sadly, the list is long, feel free to look it up…Down Syndome isn’t a “blessing”, it is objectively shitty from a health perspective.
I didn’t realize just how rough it is for the child, let alone the family…more often than not, they would be fully dependent on others for the rest of their life.
The miscarriage risk is also close to 50%, which made matters worse…they may never see the light of day and it puts Ashley further at risk.
We spoke with doctors, friends, family and genetic counselors and learned that up to 90% of women terminate their pregnancy after learning the baby has Trisomy 21.
This was WAY higher than I expected, I thought it would be lower given that I hear so many say they kept or would keep the baby. I believe that’s because most terminations happen privately, it feels shameful. A lot of judgment being cast.
You never think you’d be in this type of situation until it happens to you and then things change.
To all of my fans who have weighed in on this topic who have Autism, Down Syndrome or any other conditions…we appreciate you. You matter a lot and we’re glad you’re here. I commend you and your families for having the strength and courage to push forward.
As for us, we made a difficult decision that we believe in the long-run will be beneficial for our family. Thankfully, we had a choice.
It will take a little time to move on, but we are excited to try again in the future and hopefully have a better outcome.
Love you guys & thank you for understanding. ❤️
@rawknuckle Saying you’ll pay more but then also saying you refuse to pay more is a funny take. There’s a way to avoid it, pay for it.
Also there’s PS and other similar options. Pay for that when flying out of major airports.
@BowTiedBull Wrong. It is because tennis is a hobby meaning that they typically workout + have an active hobby (Tennis)
If you jog thats your workout for 98% of people. If you play tennis you almost certainly don't only play tennis.
The added lifespan comes from that!
But this is America after 10+ years of Trump in the mix. He has had the biggest and loudest mic in America every day the past 10 years.
I am conservative, but I can't say we are in a more peaceful place than we were 10 years ago and I can't say DJT hasn't contributed to that. Can you?
@RealSpitfire The secret service wins the numbers game and that’s it. ANY 11 humans standing there with guns would have stopped 1 guy.
Anything serious and they’d be in deep trouble. Yet still you’ll hear “the secret service did amazing work”
The only one dialed in was the dog
@RapidResponse47@Tarapin28 He’s probably right but it’s also insane to say this when he is the one who has the House, Senate and Presidency 🤣
Isn’t this telling on himself and his people IF he really believes it?