Alexis Cuomo

[Alexis Cuomo @AlexisCuomo]

@GEICO is a scam. Tell your lizard to make the square and we’re fighting to the death.

[Alexis Cuomo @AlexisCuomo]

Tell me how you really feel about the JetBlue app. Oh it sucks? One moment while I put you on hold.

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

Emergency Press Conference - We Are Going Backwards (avoid if you don’t wanna hear me talking politics)

[Alexis Cuomo @AlexisCuomo]

If someone has turnips for sale on their island I’ll let you come to mine... 510 bells at nook store rn....js....

[Alexis Cuomo @AlexisCuomo]

@elijahwood if you still play animal crossing my store is buying turnips for 536 Bells a piece...

[Alexis Cuomo @AlexisCuomo]

@elisenahvidad Team jasper for me

[Alexis Cuomo @AlexisCuomo]

@T_sleazyy More like jank wifi

[Alexis Cuomo @AlexisCuomo]

@MajorMomster Where did you get that castle!?!? Your tank is amazing and I’ve been looking for a more accurate hogwarts castle

[Alexis Cuomo @AlexisCuomo]

Trying to be excited for my birthday but feeling increasing depressed about it instead

[Alexis Cuomo @AlexisCuomo]

@FriendsGroup @Dbacks @Rockies The MOST dramatic thing I’ve ever heard 🙄

[Erica @eerrriiicaa]

Iced coffee just tastes better when you’re late for work

[kallyn jo @kalnewp]

open ur snaps ur not a celebrity

[Alexis Cuomo @AlexisCuomo]

False

[relatable @byreIatable]

How do you online shop?

Me:

[OTHDIARY @OTHdiary]

“Music always helps, no matter what you’re going through.”

[Jmoney💸 @Jmoney14367809]

Idc how hard life get imma crack me a joke 😭

[Alexis Cuomo @AlexisCuomo]

Yeah Paul.

[Professor Yurabay @gimme__dat]

if there's one thing that's certain in life..it's that fat bottomed girls make the rockin' world go round.

[Mitch @themitchellford]

Date the girl who doesn’t wear any makeup to the lake and gets her hair wet

thank me later