👖Buttons👖

I make pour decisions 🍷 I bend so I don’t break 🧘🏻‍♀️ My body is a garden 🍑 Sushi makes miso happy 🍱

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

Proud Mother moment...

Oldest Daughter: Lunch is my favorite subject.

She’s a kid after my own heart.

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 14 years, since 10 May 2009 (via @twi_age).

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 13 years, since 10 May 2009 (via @twi_age).

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 12 years, since 10 May 2009 (via @twi_age).

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

@AlexisCuomo I found it online somewhere. I forget where I’m sorry!!!

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

A better pic of my HP fish tank #HarryPotter #Hogwarts #longfinnedblackskirttetras #redphantomtetras

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

@SpotifyCares I can not log in to my account. I don’t know which email it’s connected to but I had a premium account that needs updated payment info. Please help.

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 11 years, since 10 May 2009 (via @twi_age).

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

Never again will I ever date an Aquarius.

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

@AboutThatBean 😂😂😂

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

Don’t let that man get away! 😂

[Bex The BritChick ™ 🇬🇧 @BexSaunders7]

#truestory

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

When your ex is being a little bitch:

Put one hand on each knee and slide each hand up your legs til they meet and if you find a pair of nuts, grab a hold of them and own your shit.

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

#datingafterdivorce

[💥 @punsfornuns]

Yeah I date...

D. doing
A. all I can
T. to avoid catching feelings
E. ever again

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

When a guy being shady and you confide in your friend:

I’m going to pretend like he doesn’t exists today. And I won’t be mad if you stop in to see me at work after your done working so I can serve you a nice drink and you can tell me I’m beautiful.

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 10 years (since 10 May 2009).
(via @twi_age)

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

Friend: What are you doing today?

Me: Living the thug life.

Friend: Laundry?

Me: Yeah.

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

@tinsbabe YES YES YES! I can’t stand clumpy and lashes going in funky weird directions.

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

I want to buy things I don’t need but must have. What product do you think I should buy? I’m thinking house relatable or ingenious time savers... GO!

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

There is no comparison between the sun and the moon; you shine when it’s your turn.

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

On page 166 of 329 of The Dead Girls of Hysteria Hall, by Katie Alender https://t.co/Mqqae8gDnc

[👖Buttons👖 @MajorMomster]

@shoewhoreninja @TBSNetwork I just ordered Chinese cuz it’s the o my thing that’s open. Let’s do this! Lol