Alison Gilchrist

Research scientist @NYULangone, she/her, a creature just like you

[Selena Wisnom @LSWisnom]

Academics in Assyria in the 7th c BC complain that admin is preventing them from doing research and teaching

[binx @binx_bolling_]

i have a guy friend who’s 6’2, has an inheritance of £10,000 a year, owns half of Derbyshire. maybe a bit socially awkward; but these kinds of guys used to have game. but women hate him! they say he’s the last man in the world who they could ever be prevailed on to marry

[Ryan Briggs @ryancbriggs]

I asked my wife why she was in private browsing mode on her phone and she explained that Safari only allows 500 tabs in regular mode so she had to switch. You think you know a person

[Alison Gilchrist @AlisonAbridged]

my lovely friend wrote this lovely poem💙 https://t.co/nTWPDVX7Cr

[clare @sadderlizards]

yet another day lost to the rot oh well

[Kristen Arnett @Kristen_Arnett]

you can have soup at any time, simply add water to whatever you’re eating

[Neil Renic @NC_Renic]

Sure, the article took two years, three desk rejections, and four revise and resubmits, but at least eleven people read it

[josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99]

(daft punk One More Time voice) Auld Lang Syne

[Keara Sullivan @superkeara]

I never make rules for myself about limiting screen time bc ultimately I’d just be setting yet another unrealistic expectation on a woman

[frye @___frye]

judas: ok guys. what’s everybody bringing for the last supper

jesus: the what supper

judas: the regular supper. ordinary supper

[meg “Yooper” bitchell @MeganBitchell]

Every friend group got the hypothetical questions homie

[emma lord @dilemmalord]

for a minute i was like we need a reverse santacon where we send new yorkers to small towns to mess with THEIR holiday weekends except then i remembered hallmark made a whole film genre for that

[tanya @Tanya_Sabrinaaa]

i took a british guy home and when i woke up all my artifacts were gone

[Ash @H1TWOM4N]

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

[Qagggy! @Qagggy]

If you thought Superblocks were the big thing in Barcelona, you were right last year but now you're wrong. Here's my WTF IS HAPPENING IN BARCELONA thread. 🧵

[natalie @7weekslive]

it's cold

[clare @sadderlizards]

oh hey you’re alive i guess the curse didn’t work

[Victoria @fakehockeyteam]

I don't really understand f1. all of my friends keep posting like "why won't they let charles do the swoopy woopy before he hits the pole" (?). first of all isnt he the driver. why can't he do the swoopy woopy if he so desires. does he not have sovereignty over the car

[clare @sadderlizards]

wow i love your account. i think they need to study you in a lab

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

Being a dimwit is so awesome I will think something and it will be wrong