Alison Wasserman

Lawyer, runner, ninja turtle

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@ACShilton That would be me. Sorry. Being a lawyer isn’t as sexy and exciting as it seems on TV. I have to get my jollies somehow 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@drunkhaught Lol, whoops, it looks like @crosswordnerd13 and @chocolateyshell already beat me to the punch on referencing Pinky and the Brain! I was so proud of myself too!

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@drunkhaught I mean...is that even a question?!!

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@AlexSableSmith There is nothing about this tweet that I don’t like. Congratulations to your dad!

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@PattiMurin I mean...it could happen. Isn’t there literally an actor named John Doe?

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@EllenPompeo I mean @GreysABC has had all kinds of acoustic covers of uptempo pop songs on the show, so I don’t see why they couldn’t make this happen! 👍

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@DGlaucomflecken @choo_ek @DGlaucomflecken and @choo_ek, I’m just a lowly JD, not an MD or DO, but I feel like a “your future’s so bright, you’ve gotta wear [polarized] shades” was medically necessary 😉

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@allisontype They were singing about red red wine and he was pissed they weren't singing about cold cold beer :P

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@ToyaRochelle

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@ToyaRochelle Congratulations from a fellow member of the bar! Welcome to the club! 👍

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@ACShilton Dude, yes! Genius! I’ve been meaning to come visit Ghost! You could be my endurance training coach/nutritional consultant/boot camp instructor!

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@briantaff6abc Yes, legally it qualifies as medically necessary under those circumstances. Learned that in my first year at Penn State Law.

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@noelcarbs Don’t toy with my emotions. I’m still recovering from the WE season finale! I’ve run out of dolphin squeals 🐬

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

Just when we think we can’t have nice things! 👍

[Jim @JimWantsCoffee]

@byJenAMiller I ran a 50k *trail* race leapfrogging a guy who had a speaker on his camelback playing contemporary Christian hits out loud in the middle of the woods.

I called him “DJ Roomba”.

“C’mon, DJ Roomba, let’s crush this hill!”

“Don’t quit on me now, DJ Roomba!”

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@SJSUSpartanFB @CoachThienes Interesting fact that I learned about SJSU football and its connection to Hawaii: they were in Honolulu to play Hawaii Willamette when Pearl Harbor was bombed, the SJSU football players were deputized to protect the city, and one of them ended up delivering a baby that night.

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@MelanieScrofano @bongotummy I have a law degree. @bongotummy has legally abdicated his entitlement to Doritos. You are right to withhold them.

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@PunkyStarshine Lol, sorry, couldn’t resist 🤣

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@PunkyStarshine

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@MelanieScrofano Hey @emtothea, isn’t this the name of a Lifetime movie, “My Stepdad, My Lover”? 🤣🤣🤣

[Alison Wasserman @AlisonWasserman]

@moryan I was working out with my trainer last night, and she kept the TV on CNN to keep me rage-filled and motivated.