Julie Gaudette

Sometimes I find myself trying to convince people that I am a fully functioning adult. But never on Twitter.

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

Give a fish a man and you'll feed it for a day.

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

Skid a mile in my shoes.

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

When you couldn't afford tickets but find a spot see the show from outside.

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

I'm gonna have one glass of wine now and save the rest of the bottle for also now.

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

My New Year's resolution is to be more forward thinking.

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

Life is a struggle to stay afloat.

Let that sink in.

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

I just learned about the word "postjudiced". Seeing how I always know best, it feels like I got my hands on kryptonite.

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

So what exactly is life short enough for?

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

Uhm, yeah... Sure I wanna hold your baby.

[AmberTozer @AmberTozer]

When you're about to tell them that last night was fun but you don't want a relationship right now

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

When you were positive you used a semicolon correctly but someone puts you in place.

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

On a scale of one to ten, who the hell is this Kanye?

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

Don't be upset now, but you should know I've faked every single sarcasm. It's not you, it's me.

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

When they didn't have what you were looking for and you have to pass the register without paying for anything.

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

*panics and sets phone to fight mode*

*737 turns into F16*

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

"You are the light of my life" I say opening my fridge.

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

I suck at flirting. And other eye contact sports such as social interaction.

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

I always carry a can of pepper spray, an expandable baton and a rhythm stick. Better safe than sorry.

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

Sometimes it's a little frustrating that "How come you're overweight when you're vegan?" is not considered polite conversation.

[Julie Gaudette @AllSheTweeted]

I'd kinda like to bring back prohibition for just one weekend just to see what happens to Twitter.