AllegedDev

Chaotic evil web dev. Megalomaniacal catgirl maid. LARPs as a game dev. Sacrifices birthday cakes to plushies.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

First few roles? Chase that bag. Many HR departments are going to use what you’re currently making when building you an offer.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

Young devs after your first few roles: Once your needs are met and, it’s often better to seek out roles that will let you grow and expand your skills.

An extra $10K a year isn’t going to make you much happier if you’re bored out of your mind.

1/2.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

@randomrecruiter I’ve worked for exactly one company where a PIP was genuinely intended to help the employee improve. It was memorable specifically because I had never seen it happen before.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

@CISSPSeagull The good news is that once you hit 40, being antisocial is socially acceptable again.

No one even bats an eye when you tell them to get off your lawn in the middle of a Walmart parking lot.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

@CISSPSeagull Seriously the pushiest sales tactics I’ve ever seen in tech, and I’ve heard Oracle talk.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

@CISSPSeagull Is it Snowflake? Sounds like Snowflake.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

@hot_girl_spring Why bother with laundry? Just buy new ones every time.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

@CISSPSeagull I’m not sure why you would WANT people outside of work to think you have IT expertise. That’s how you get 2AM texts to help fix their printer.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

@pb_steele Lucky. The only time we get white stuff falling from the sky is when a cartel plane crashes.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

@PUBBEA_EN No. They should shave their heads. What else am I supposed to superglue onto my head?

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

@pb_steele It’s kind of okay though. Not my absolute favorite, but it gets the job done.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

@randomrecruiter If I went for a Sr SWE role at PWC locally, I’d have to deal with an order of magnitude more BS for less money than I make now.

The fact that most of their former SWEs I’ve met locally hated working there doesn’t help either.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

T-3 years until I escape software dev forever. The money’s good. I’m good at it. I just hate it with all my heart lol.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

@GrayTimeWaster My bed is ALWAYS warm between my legs. Mostly because that’s where my dog sleeps.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

@trashh_dev That would finally convince me to become a vegetarian tbh.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

@trashh_dev Mostly resisting the urge to set things on fire and blame it on the stove. Everything else is easy.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

@RMsWaifu_NSFW I’ve been trying to convince my wife to do this for two years now lol. You def put it better than I have though.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

@GrayTimeWaster I’m gonna be real. I usually go for a high score in the other direction instead.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

@pienotacake I don’t care about luxury watches, but I like smart watches because I’m too lazy to take my phone out to check texts and DMs.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

In unrelated news, I hear the protagonist of the next Pokemon game will be Michael Vick.

[AllegedDev @AllegedDev]

My kid was playing Pokemon Legends: Z-A and said Pokemon battles seems like dog fighting. You’ve been playing Pokemon for years, and you’re just NOW figuring that out? 🤣