Allison April

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

Reading "That Sounds Fun" by Annie F. Downs. Page 104, putting things on the "when I get married" shelf and then taking them off after years because I don't want to miss them. Feeling grateful and frustrated, proud and disappointed. I have never related more.

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

The guy next to me and I sat in silence the whole flight. As we were unloading, I turned to him and said, "it was nice sitting next to you. I'm not a big talker."
"Same, and me neither. Have a nice trip."
"You too."
And it was kind of hilarious.

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

Enjoyed a movie on my flight. Not sure what was happening and I didn't catch any dialogue (the guy watching it in front of me didn't turn on the subtitles) but it was action-packed! And all of it was in outer space, kind of like we were. 😂😂 #deltaairlines

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

My friend from the suburbs had me over for birthday cake. We partied (drank tea and laughed) so hard the cops showed up. Apparently someone filed a complaint because I parked facing the wrong way. We had to pause our party so I could turn my truck around. #storyofmylife

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

Had a breakfast date yesterday. 15 minutes in and he told me he doesn't believe in marriage or relationships. So that was my weekend.

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

@hgunderhill I did spill my wine.

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

I was taking a bath and had been for about 20 minutes. I felt something brush against my side. Thinking it was a hair, I reach down into the water and my hand brought up a massive daddy long legs. So that was my night.

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

One of my brothers is home on leave from the Army. He surprised the family a few days early. We ate pizza, drank wine and celebrated him for the last five hours. It was good.

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

@trysta94 I think the question should be, which one didn't? Willow.

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

Everytime @anniefdowns writes on her Instagram stories "we don't deserve him," I know she's talking about Craig before she says it.

I'm not sure if that means I watch her Instagram too much, or we just really don't deserve Craig.

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

"There's plenty of fish in the sea."

Yeah but what if you live in a landlocked state? And there's just crawfish? What then Karen?

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

I really appreciate my insurance guy.

I got several papers in the mail that I did not understand. So I sent him an email telling him how confused I was. He called me and talked me through it. Then emailed me a checklist of things to do next.

And I'm not overwhelmed anymore.

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

@micaylafriend 🤮🤮🤮

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

Used to think my father was a slow driver, he'd go 65 on the freeway.

I took him to the shop to pick up his 1968 Camaro and followed him home.

As he was driving up that freeway on ramp, his true colors came out.

I realized I was horribly wrong and couldn't keep up with him.

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

My friend's dad offered me his brother's hand in marriage yesterday. His brother just got out of prison and is a solid twenty years older than me. But if that doesn't sum up my life currently, I don't know what does.

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

Another good man got engaged last night.

I'm happy for them, reliable sources say she's a great woman.

I'm also a little sad. So if you hear "Another One Bites the Dust," pray for me and the other single women out here.

Watching the good ones get snatched up before our eyes.

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

These past few weeks I've been spending a lot of time with my friends @Lowes and @Menards. Lowes, you're on point with the low prices. Menards, your selection of trim has me covered. I wish you two could become friends and have a baby that had both, but I'll take what I can get.

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

@abbieshunkwiler Only if I'm there to help you with your exit strategy.

[Allison April @AllisonApril68]

Mr. Knightley is my favorite Jane Austen man. But Emma was 21 and Mr. Knightley was 38. And I don't know how I feel about that.