AlphaTaxman

Chanakya once said : " economy gaya tel lene... "

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

Peon walks into my office says "additional saab aapko yaad kar rahe te "
And I'm like "aisi konsi fond memories hai ki yaad kar rahe hai !! "

In govt office they don't summon or call you they "yaad karo" you... 😂

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

AC/DC goes to PrCC requesting for a transfer.
Cited Old parents as ground for Transfer.

PrCC (after a long, thoughtful pause):
"Dekhiye, sabke parents old hote hain aur bachche chhote hote hain. Yeh biology hai. Nature ka rule hai"

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

Again, the #AjitPawar news is a reminder-nothing is really in our hands.

We spend our lives doing careful math:
permutations of choices,
combinations of alliances,
additions of effort,
subtractions of doubt,
integrations of past experience,
differentiations to find the “optimal move.”

And then the universe calmly adds a giant flower bracket,
multiplies the whole equation by zero,
and walks away without explaining the steps.

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

@Zaharistocrate 😄👍🏻

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

Remember those Adarsh Balak posters from school?
Came up with grown-up version: Adarsh Boss.
A gentle reminder and note to self.

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

@salilbijur Thank you sir 😃

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

“This property has been acquired from the advance received from .....…” his Immovable Property Returns (IPR) declaration states.

[The New Indian @TheNewIndian_in]

🚨Pahalgam Terror

Before Attack, J&K DGP, a 1992-batch IPS from Andhra cadre was on a property buying spree

1. Rs 10.3cr land in holiday destination in Manali for wife & son in Dec 2024

2. Rs 26cr Chandigarh bungalow in posh Sector 5 in 2023

Records⤵️
https://t.co/c1dTP5FMSt

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

Who said bureaucracy lacks innovation?
Look at the number of reporting formats.
Every officer designs a new masterpiece
aiming for clarity, but achieving pure creativity!

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

During our academy training, one of our assistant course directors used to say,
“You are nobody.”
It felt like an existential crisis in the making.
But now it’s mantra I carry.

From ‘Aham Brahmasmi’ to ‘Aham Nobody’ —the ultimate spiritual and bureaucratic evolution.

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

Meanwhile, me searching deputation notification for this.

[Commentary Donald J. Trump Posts From Truth Social @TrumpDailyPosts]

For far too long, we have relied on taxing our Great People using the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). Through soft and pathetically weak Trade agreements, the American Economy has delivered growth and prosperity to the World, while taxing ourselves. It is time for that to change. I am today announcing that I will create the EXTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE to collect our Tariffs, Duties, and all Revenue that come from Foreign sources. We will begin charging those that make money off of us with Trade, and they will start paying, FINALLY, their fair share. January 20, 2025, will be the birth date of the External Revenue Service. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

Donald Trump Truth Social 11:28 AM EST 01/14/25

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

@TheCinesthetic Case file in Suits: 1 crisp paper in a sleek folder.
Case file in real life: A box that gives you back pain and still doesn’t have the right document

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

JD Sir messaged me
“ok take your time but do it asap”
Now I’m not sure whether to meditate or sprint.
#JDsirLogic

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

Income Tax Search team explained.

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

@muditbharat True that sir.
Happened this with my JD Sir…😅

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

The Bold Beggar's Request
It was a cold, crisp morning in the Ancient kingdom of Bureaucratapolis. The streets were bustling with vendors setting up their stalls, but two beggars, Assito and Deputo huddled together on a corner, shivering from the biting wind. They had no shelter, no warm clothes, and their stomachs growled with hunger.

As they sat there, watching the world go by, they noticed a regal procession approaching. Dictator Principolos Chiefus Commissionarides, was passing by on his majestic horse, surrounded by guards and attendants. The sight of the dictator brought a glimmer of hope to the beggars.

"Maybe if we ask him for help, he will take pity on us," Deputo said.
"Let's give it a try," Assito agreed.

As the procession drew nearer, Assito and Deputo mustered up their courage and called out, "Oh great Dictator Principolos Chiefus Commissionarides, we beg of you, please have mercy on us and give us a blanket to shield us from the cold!"

The dictator halted his horse and looked down at the two beggars. In a rare moment of generosity, he dismounted and approached them. "Today, I am in a good mood. Here, take these blankets to keep yourselves warm," he said, handing them two thick, woollen blankets. "And here, have some chai and biscuits as well."
The beggars were overjoyed. They wrapped themselves in the warm blankets and gratefully accepted the chai and biscuits.

As they sipped the hot chai and munched on the biscuits, Deputo couldn't help but feel that this was a golden opportunity.
"Great Dictator Principolos Chiefus Commissionarides," Deputo called out again, "if you could also give us that magnificent horse of yours, our lives would be complete."

The dictator's face darkened. "You insolent greedy fool!" he thundered. "How dare you ask for my horse? For your audacity, you shall receive twenty lashes!"

The guards seized Deputo and administered the punishment, while Assito watched in horror. After the ordeal, Deputo was left bruised and battered, but he managed a weak smile.
Assito, shaking his head in disbelief, said, "Why did you have to ask for the horse? Look at what happened! You could have just been content with the blankets and the chai."
Deputo, wincing in pain, replied, "You may call me a fool, but I had to ask. I would have spent my whole life wondering what if I had asked. Maybe he would have given me the horse. You never know. There's nothing wrong in trying. Now I have no regrets."

The moral of the story is that there is nothing wrong in asking the Principal Chief Commissioner for a choice posting or preferred place of transfer. After all, nothing is lost by asking. The pain of the lashes is transient.

Comrades remember P2 M2 Poochho to Pata chalega Maango to Milega.

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

@muditbharat Hahaha sir they promised Deputus that they’d talk to Principolos Chiefus and recommend he get the horse.
Not sure if they did.
Deputo is still in street without horse. 😅

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

A cruel joke has been played:
making income tax officers file their tax return and making them pay tax.
It's like giving yourself a root canal.

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

My horoscope for today is a recipe for vigilance case 😅

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

@Nadeemkhan41 Hahaha thanks bhai… share share… share everywhere.. 🫡👍

[AlphaTaxman @AlphaTaxman]

The Trickle-Down Effect
Commissioner Singh Sahib is a man not only known for his distinguished service and strict demeanour but also for his few peculiar habits. One late evening, as he was leaving the office and walking down the corridor, he casually mentioned to Joint Commissioner Verma Sir that he fancied a horse ride.

"Verma, ghoda sawari karne ka man kar raha hai. If possible, can you arrange for the horse to be ready tomorrow morning? Right here, at my bungalow," Singh Sahib said, his moustache twitching with the thought of a fresh morning gallop.

"Sir, Sir, Sir, Sir! Of course, hojayega Sir. Consider it done, Sir," replied JC Verma Sir.

"Sir, will 6 o'clock be fine?" asked JC Verma Sir with all sincerity.

"Chhe baje? Nahi, tab tak suraj nikal aayega aur maza nahi aayega. 5 baje theek rahega," Singh Sahib replied, his eyes gleaming with the clear expectation that the horse better be there on time.

"Verma, dekh lo agar ho sake to, koi pressure nahi," Singh Sahib added, trying to sound like a considerate boss, though it was evident what he expected.

“Sir Sir Sir Bilkul hojayega Sir " replied JC Verma Sir feeling the weight of the request settling on his shoulders.

The Commissioner Sahib's wish was Verma Sir’s command, and Verma Sir, in turn, had his own ways of ensuring orders were executed. Not wanting to risk any delay and fearing the wrath of the Commissioner, JC Verma Sir, decided to add a little buffer to the timeline.
"If the Commissioner Sahib wants one horse at 5 AM, I’ll make sure it’s there by 4 AM," he said to himself.

Verma Sir, always meticulous in his approach, decided to arrange for two horses instead of one. Knowing the unpredictability of horses, it was his way of covering all bases and ensuring nothing would disrupt the morning gallop.

So, he summoned his Deputy Commissioner Sharma, the next in the bureaucratic food chain.

"Sharma, Commissioner Sahib ko 2 ghode chaiye. Bahut zaroori kaam hai. Sahib 4 baje niklenge. Dekho, koi gadbad nahi honi chahiye. Make sure two horses are at the Commissioner's bungalow by 4 AM sharp. Ek minute bhi late nahi hona chahiye. Samjhe? No mistakes," Verma Sir commanded sternly, his eyes narrowing.

Without revealing the true reason, he hinted that it was for important official work. He always felt that the Deputy Commissioner just needed to follow orders and need not know the purpose behind. Sharma, fully aware of Verma Sirs notorious reputation for demanding punctuality, nodded vigorously.

"Yes Sir, Ji Sir, 4 AM it is Sir." he said and left the chamber.

"Lagta hai phir se koi ajeeb shauk hai." DC Sharma muttered under his breath and got back to his pressing paperwork. He then remained buried under a mountain of files and seized materials, and the ‘Horse matter’ slipped from his mind.

After a long day, he completely forgot about the ‘horse matter’ until much later that night. It was around 11:30 PM, just as he was comfortably nestled in bed and cozy with his wife Neha, the ‘Horse Matter’ struck him like a bolt of lightning.

"Oh Shit Shit Shit Shit!" Sharma exclaimed, startling his wife, Neha.
"Kya hua, baby?" Neha asked, sitting up beside him, her eyes wide with concern and confusion.
"I need to arrange horses for the Commissioner Sahib!" Sharma muttered, already reaching for his mobile.
Neha, being newlywed was still not accustomed to the eccentricities of bureaucratic life. Sharma, who had always boasted about his important bureaucratic duties to impress Neha before their marriage, couldn't admit how absurd the situation was.
"Baby, some secret-office work I cannot discuss," he said, trying to sound mysterious and important.
Neha was now more curious than concerned. she shook her head and remembered what Panditji said during the second phera from their wedding- to stand together against life’s challenges, offering unwavering support and courage.

DC Sharma dialed Inspector Patil, his go-to guy with 25 years of experience in the department. Patil had seen it all and knew how to get things done, no matter how ridiculous the request. DC Sharma knew that if anyone could pull this off, it was Inspector Patil.

"Patil, we need 3 horses at the Commissioner Sahib’s bungalow." Sharma said as soon as Patil answered, his voice heavy with urgency.

"Sirji, kal dopahar tak arrange karke office leh aahoonga." Patil replied, half-asleep but fully sincere.

"No, no, Patil! Urgent hai. Commissioner Sahib needs it immediately. Abhi chahiye," Sharma insisted, hoping that by saying 'immediately,' the horse would be there at least by 4 AM.

Patil, who had long stopped questioning the bizarre demands of his superiors, sighed internally but responded with unwavering loyalty, "Samajh gaya, Sir. Don't worry, it will be done."

The department had gone "horseless," and it had been four years since this dramatic change was implemented. Instead of replacing horses with cars, they had replaced Horses with extremely advanced, science fiction-like mode of transport. Interdimensional Transport Beam Array (ITBA) they called it. Officers now used ITBA instead of Horses. Department going Horseless was ‘Citizen-friendly’ measure said the policy papers. That’s a discussion for another day.

Coming back to the story, after the department became 'horseless,' no one knew the whereabouts of the old horses anymore, and even Patil, with his extensive experience, was clueless. Inspector Patil finally found out that Assistant Sarvesh is posted as ‘Stable in-charge’ though this role had become almost ceremonial like many others posts in the department. Woken up abruptly at midnight by the frantic Patil, Sarvesh was instructed to find and prepare three horses.

“Sarvesh, Commissioner Sahib needs 3 horses ready at his bungalow immediately!" Patil's voice crackled through the phone.

" Sir? Sab ko to ITBA mil gayi hai." Sarvesh mumbled, struggling to shake off his sleep. "Where am I supposed to find horses now?" he cribbed.

"Figure it out, Sarvesh. Upar se Aadesh hai. Just get it done," Patil replied, his voice resigned but firm.

Sarvesh, bleary-eyed and not fully comprehending the urgency, scrambled to prepare the horses. He had to search the old, dusty stables, which hadn't been used in years. He found two donkeys and one mule hidden away and covered in cobwebs.

It took him a while to clean and saddle the animals, muttering under his breath about the madness of it all. However, he was determined to make a good impression and possibly request Commissioner Saab to move him from stable department to the investigation department. Sarvesh dressed up the two donkeys and the mule with silk decorations and heavy embellishments. He even placed a decorated umbrella on the mule, making it look like a majestic steed fit for a grand procession. You see, Sarvesh was recruited recently and he had never even laid eyes on a horse before—his training was strictly in the wonders of ITBA.

By 1.30 AM, Assistant Sarvesh arrived at the Commissioner’s bungalow with the Baraat donkeys. He knocked on the large wooden door with the urgency of a man on a mission. Commissioner Singh’s wife, Memsaab, opened the door. With look of practiced patience on her face, she surveyed the scene. Sarvesh stood there with 3 decorated donkeys.
“Meim, Commissioner Sahib maange the," he said timidly.
Despite the bizarre sight before her, Mehmsaab wasn't surprised. She didn't even question or enquire further. After twenty years as the wife of a bureaucrat, she had seen it all. She had long given up the second vow, unlike DC Sharma’s Neha.
Rolling her eyes, she walked in.
"Singh Sahib, aapki baraat ready hai!" she said going back to bed.

Commissioner Saab, his pajamas askew and hair sticking out in all directions, appeared at the door. His face a picture of bewildered irritation.
"Kaun ho bhai? Ye kya hai? What? What in the name of...? he barked, trying to make sense of the sight before him.
"Sir, hum Sarvesh, Stable In-Charge. Permanent hoon, sir. Aapki sawari ke liye Sir," Sarvesh stammered and stood shivering.

Seven years have passed since this incident, and DC Sharma is now poised to become Joint Commissioner soon. His wife, Neha, has come to understand the peculiarities of his work and is now accustomed to the absurdity of bureaucracy. No longer surprised by such bizarre happenings, she has grown into being a "Memsaab." Meanwhile, Commissioner Singh Sahib retired as Principal Chief Commissioner and post-retirement, he owns and breeds racehorses, indulging his passion for equestrian sports. As for Verma Sir, rumor has it he's taken up a new assignment—replacing Email with ‘E-pigeons’ precision flying, hoping to revolutionize office message and communication mechanism. Sarvesh has risen to the rank of Inspector and is in the Investigation wing. Patil, on the other hand, has applied for Voluntary Retirement (VRS), finally looking forward to a quieter life away from the frantic pace of bureaucratic whims.

Their paths diverge, but the echoes of that fateful night when donkeys where adorned for Commissioner Sahib’s baraat continue to resonate, a reminder of the whimsical and often capricious nature of bureaucratic flow of command.

What begins as a cryptic directive from higher-ups often transforms into an urgent, immediate command by the time it reaches the lower levels. The lack of clarity in requests sets off a cascade effect through the ranks, much like a game of telephone, where each layer interprets and amplifies the urgency, driven by a mix of caution and the desire to impress. By the time it reaches the desk of lower-level staff, the original message has typically morphed into a frantic plea. Reports are hastily assembled with whatever information is available, emphasizing only on compliance.

(PS: I have taken help of Chat-GPT for grammar correction)