Alton Jimmerib

Veteran of the Fortnite Trenches

[Alton Jimmerib @AltonLuvsPlum]

@Five_2Bravo @GeorgeKong2 @uncledoomer @grok Adjusted for inflation that $75/monthly is the equivalent of $425/month in 2025 dollars. I would shocked if anyone could find a 1 bed 1 bath apartment in the worst trenches of America for that cheap, let alone a 2 room with kitchen and bathroom.

[Alton Jimmerib @AltonLuvsPlum]

One too many Beach House songs will have a mf on this timing for the rest of the week #RealOclock

[Alton Jimmerib @AltonLuvsPlum]

The Pokémon Company did NOT get permission to use my likeness for this mf... I expect royalty checks to be cut ASAP! @Pokemon @NintendoAmerica

[Charlotte FC @CharlotteFC]

You couldn't write the script, yet it somehow felt inevitable.

𝐀 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐙𝐚𝐡𝐚.

For The Crown: The Debut | Ep. 2 🎥

[Alton Jimmerib @AltonLuvsPlum]

@CharlotteFC @glemblepipe We so fucking up

[Alton Jimmerib @AltonLuvsPlum]

Popeyes brings the light of our lord to the masses in a way that makes the crusades look laughable, all they need is girl dick to-go and I'd never leave tbh 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Alton Jimmerib @AltonLuvsPlum]

@Combat_Casuals @glemblepipe Chita keeps dat pipe 💯

[Alton Jimmerib @AltonLuvsPlum]

@YouLoveReggie @glemblepipe Type flow?

[Alton Jimmerib @AltonLuvsPlum]

@zullaaababy @glemblepipe This is what you need 😩🤞

[Alton Jimmerib @AltonLuvsPlum]

The only 4B movement I care about is Big Beautiful Boy Butt quaking...

Amiright or what?

[donald boat @laserboat999]

Coach: You are familiar with Sun Wukong, gentlemen — King of Monkeys. One of the great running backs of antiquity—yet He had no cleats, no helmet. Nothing but what?

Team: The Tao, Ever-Flowing, Coach

Coach: And where did he ride it?

Team: To the great Endzone in the sky, Coach

[donald boat @laserboat999]

PROSECUTOR: The recording has you clearly stating that the “Dookie blah blah opium runtz” had you “moving Chinese.” Were you in fact Chinese at the time?

WITNESS: Momentarily, I felt Chinese, yes

[Alton Jimmerib @AltonLuvsPlum]

@halflawless Always happens to the best of em. Salute to a well-served soldier, may they bring honor to their ancestors in the coming years 🫡

[RJ 🇺🇸 @halflawless]

My plug hit a 1000x and retired 😭😭😭

[Alton Jimmerib @AltonLuvsPlum]

@equine__dentist @glemblepipe @mannyquickle Tragedy 😭

[Alton Jimmerib @AltonLuvsPlum]

@cleaming_ @glemblepipe

[Alton Jimmerib @AltonLuvsPlum]

Shawty said I'm a master baiter but I don't fish?!? :/

[Alton Jimmerib @AltonLuvsPlum]

@sabatonfan69 Nah we make lava here man!! That's what Arkansas is for!

[Alton Jimmerib @AltonLuvsPlum]

@grunchyy_ Think of how much money giving everyone a puppy would cost though?!? Surely having infinite shitty britches will boost the GDP!!!😁